


The One that Strayed back Home

by ArvisTaljik



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Anal Sex, Angst, Because... Why Not?, Best Friends, Bucky Barnes Feels, But it gets better... I promise, Carptenter!Bucky, Estranged Friends to Friends to Lovers to Not Lovers to Friends to Lovers... Again, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, I mean I would too if I was them..., It's complicated!, Joseph Rogers is a Dick..., Just deal with it, Like a whole boatload of it for a while, Lovers to Estranged Friends, M/M, More like Post-Puberty Steve Rogers with Muscles!, Oral Sex, Our Boys have Issues, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Probably in Upstate New York... IDK, Sarah Rogers is Oblivious, Small City Life, Sorry but they're just plot tools, Steve Rogers Feels, The Maximoffs are Steve and Sharon's Kids, These boys do enjoy some good sex, They're both "Vets" lol, Veteran!Bucky, Veterinarian!Steve, non-Winter Soldier Bucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:11:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArvisTaljik/pseuds/ArvisTaljik
Summary: When a stray puppy invades his home and steals his breakfast, hunky Army veteran turned carpenter Bucky Barnes is stuck taking his new furry friend to the vet. The last thing he expects is for the veterinarian to be Steve Rogers, his childhood best friend and first love.Steve's father passive-aggressively forced him into the closet years ago by holding the family business and his livelihood over his head. Now he's a divorced dad of twins but he's still stuck under his father's thumb. When his living situation suddenly changes it's Bucky who offers him a place to stay and it becomes obvious that their pull together is just as strong as ever.But, their chemistry isn't enough to make the whole thing work. Steve is still caught between his father, his career, his role as a dad, and his feelings for his best friend. Will their feelings be enough or are they both destined to lose the best thing that's ever happened to both of them... again?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Stray Home](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/232444) by Edith Scott. 



> So after reading some (trashy?...) romance novels online either for free or for a buck (I made a Bucky pun... lol), I came up with the idea to adapt one as a Stucky fic and BAM! you get this thing...
> 
> Enjoy it or not, up to you. :)

_Bucky_

God help anyone who underestimates the pure and unadulterated power of bacon.

Several strips sizzle and pop in the antique cast iron pan inherited from my mother years ago.  The protein-laden breakfast candy’s smoke fills the house and wafts out the windows like an old-time morning call to get the day going. It wraps around your sense and entices you to come inside and grab a plate. It smells like childhood. It smells like Saturday. It smells like home.

Some would argue that bacon is all you truly need in life. Maybe that’s true for a late Monday morning snack or part of a Thursday afternoon BLT. But, a big Saturday breakfast demands more and more is exactly what I have.

If it was just me then it would all be too much. The small mountain of pancakes, mound of eggs, and bacon-laden mesa of overlapping paper towels isn’t all just for me. It’s also for my sister Becca and her son, Jared. Sure, I may have gone a bit overboard this time but they always know to come hungry when they visit.

Looking up, I check the clock and see that they should be arriving any time now.

It’s then that my phone buzzes and a text alert pops up.

_Becs:  Sorry it’s last minute, can’t make it to breakfast._

Becca should have left her place twenty minutes ago and she’s just barely texting me now? There’s no way I’m going to let her off the hook for that. No way is my little sister allowed to hide behind her phone.

“Hey, Buck.” Her voice sounds guilty when she picks up but there’s also something else. There’s an edge of distress there too.

“I made all this food, Becs. You guys are standing me up?” All the burners on my stove are blazing blue and orange thanks to my energetic breakfast overproduction spectacle.

“I know, I’m so sorry, Bucky. I just can’t today.” When her voice cracks part way through, I can immediately tell that this is not my usual snarky and humorous sister.

Fearing the worst, I immediately feel myself swell with protectiveness. “Is Jared okay?”

“He’s fine.” She exhales into the phone, sounding exhausted.

“Wait, is it Joshua?” Joshua Proctor, her deadbeat husband, is a jackass and everyone but Becca knows it.

There’s a long pause on the line before she finally chokes out “I gotta go, sorry,” and then hangs up.

Well, shit. I look at my phone as though the now blank screen will somehow hold all the answers I’m looking for. The dissolution of my morning plans blindsides me for a moment but I don’t have very long to think about it.

The bacon on the stove is starting to smoke and I _really_ don’t need the fire alarm screaming through my head right now, so I pull everything off the gas and switch the burners off. So much for Saturday morning traditions.

I prop open the kitchen door to let in some fresh air and salvage what I can of the bacon before piling on a plate for myself. I’ve waited long enough and I’m ready for a big homemade breakfast plate. Even if no one else is coming over then I’m still going to eat, dammit.

The last batch of bacon is slightly overdone but not too much so. I took my eyes off of the stove and my established cooking rhythm crashed and almost burned. My cooking may not be as good as Ma’s, or my nostalgic childhood memories of her meals are more delicious than reality, but big Saturday breakfasts are like a religion. When I moved back into the family house, I decided to renew the tradition on my own.

This was my parents’ house but they passed several years ago. They left the house to me and my sisters but I bought them out and moved in. I don’t know what it says about me that I still live in the house that I grew up in, but it is what it is. It’s a little post-war era tract house someone probably called ‘adorable’ at one point. I certainly don’t use that word for it, but someone might. I made it significantly less adorable when I remodeled it man-style with custom wood work, leather furniture, a couple art pieces, and no clutter. It’s not the perfect house and I need a bigger workshop for myself, but it will do for now.

After I left the Army, one of my squad mates, Clint, hooked me up with carpentry and it was exactly what I needed.  I enjoy working with my hands and paying attention to detail so I landed myself an apprenticeship and eventually earned my master certification. Now, I build expensive kitchens for rich people with too much time and money on their hands. It’s great business for me but it’s also incredibly boring since a lot of people tend to want the same types of designs. But that’s where this house comes into play too. It gets all the epic woodworking that other people don’t want or won’t pay for.

Of course, I’ve also added some twists to the Saturday morning breakfast traditions. My rigid old man didn’t make pancakes shaped like dinosaurs or safari animals and he’d never give a six-year-old free reign over a can of whipped cream. We never had breakfast drinks, which sometimes get added when I have more people over. Mom had always played the Rolling Stones whenever Pa wasn’t around, so I’ve added that to the Saturday lineup in her honor.

Becca and Jared come relatively often, but she’s been flaking lately. I think she really wants the family thing as much as I do but I’m not all that sure what’s been going on with her.  It probably has something to do with her loser husband who thinks that a fifth of bourbon is a complete and wholesome breakfast.

I honestly don’t know why I decided to revive the tradition. Pa took over the kitchen and ordered me and my sisters around like new recruits in boot camp. He acted as if Mom wasn’t the one who was actually in charge of the house, but even so, we looked forward to it. Probably something to do with ‘family time’ or something like that. Either that, or it was just the lure of a hot breakfast. So, here I am, twenty-nine years old and burning bacon on a Saturday morning to carry on a tradition by myself.

Just then, an unfamiliar noise rustles through the bushes out in front of the house. I notice everything now anyway, but being in dangerous places with the Army trained me to always be on high alert. The scuffling out in the bushes could just be a neighbor’s cat anyway.

I keep one ear open and cut my food into precise pieces as I eat. My childhood prepared me for the Army, and both made me the person I am today. Everything can always be done in an organized and efficient manner, as long as you’re not a dickhead or douchebag about it.

That’s really the main difference between me and my old man. I’m sure if you asked Becca, though, she would disagree that there is much difference at all. Sisters are just like that, so whatever.

My garbage can crashes down outside. It’s not the big-wheeled plastic one but rather the old-school silver one that I use to separate my recycling, so it’s quite a bit louder. What the hell is going on out there?

I put my fork down and eye my plate. It’s going to be cold by the time I get back to it but I need to investigate whatever it is that’s rummaging through my garbage outside.

After returning from my third tour overseas, I did some stuff with a shrink so that I didn’t try to kill everyone who startled me. It helped me a lot but even so, I wouldn’t recommend creeping around my house.

Something had dug a hole in the flower bed and there is trash everywhere. My garbage can rolls back and forth on its side, its contents strewn about the area. Raccoon maybe? Raccoons are smart and sometimes ornery, but they’re also mostly nocturnal, so that’s probably not what’s out here raising hell at 7:15 in the morning.

Whatever it was seems to have departed so I begin the task of replacing all the trash back into the upturned can. It’s all recyclables so I’m not really sure that there was much in here for an animal to eat. After I get the can cleaned up I do another perimeter check and find another shallow hole but no one around to lay claim to it. The holes aren’t that deep so maybe it’s a dog?

Stepping back inside, I remove my muddy shoes and set them aside. I just mopped everything and I really don’t want to have to do it again so soon.

My ears prick up when I hear something moving in the kitchen. My heart thuds loudly in my chest and it’s like I’m right back in the desert in Iraq all over again; my senses completely alert and zoned in. Breathe, Bucky, just breathe. Whomever it is will regret breaking into my house. I almost feel bad for the asshole.

I creep toward the doorway and turn the corner, fast.

In hind sight, I should be thankful that my senses are as attuned as they are because I barely had a split second to realize there there was a ball of reddish-tan fur on the floor in front of me. It took me by surprise and I nearly tripped over it before turning around to get a better look at the intruder: a red Labrador retriever puppy.

“Hey!” My voice startles him and he looks up with a piece of bacon in his mouth like it’s a bone. His eyes widen and he tries to jump away in panic, yelping when one of his paws makes contact with the floor. Maybe he’s hurt or he landed on it wrong? He backs himself up against the nearest wall and tucks his long puppy tail all the way under himself so it’s under his stomach, leaving him crouching and cowering on the floor.

Through all of this, he doesn’t let go of the bacon.

Large puppy eyes look up at me so I can see the whites with an expression of, ‘I’m sorry.’ His fur is dirty and he’s kind of thin, like junkyard dog thin. I’m pretty sure puppies aren’t supposed to have visible ribs and it definitely looks like he needs that bacon more than I do.

Will he let me pick him up? I’ve never had a dog before because good ol’ ‘Colonel Dad’ would never allow it. ‘Dogs are dirty,’ he’d said. I can still hear his voice in my head as I look at this small puppy. No, Dad is dead and he doesn’t have a say in what I do anymore. This is my house now. My house and my rules.

I’ve had friends with dogs, so I know how to hold them and can get him to let me pick him up. This little guy definitely doesn’t look menacing and, if anything, I’m probably the scary on in this situation. He does look rather dirty, but my shirt can be washed. Of all the problems a possible intruder could have brought with them, a dirty shirt is the least of my worries.

He says cowering on the floor but finishes wolfing down the bacon he’s been holding on to.

“Hey little guy, where did you come from?” I hold my hand out as I approach and he rolls over onto his back, tail still tucked completely underneath himself. I’m far from being a dog whisperer but I’d say he isn’t very likely to bite me.

I scoop him up with one hand and he’s light enough that I barely takes any effort. His heart pounds under my fingers and I hold him close to my chest. He struggles for a second or two but then calms down before leaning his head against me and beginning to wag his tail. What do I know about dogs? Probably that they shouldn’t be eating bacon.

Steve always loved dogs, all kinds of them. It was like everywhere we went, he found an animal to rescue.

A stab of pain goes through my chest. I need to stop thinking about him. He’s not my best friend anymore; he’s not my _anything_ anymore. I don’t even know where he is now. The rest of the universe has continued to spin on and here I am, beginning yet another day thinking about him. I haven’t even seen him in ten years but every damn day my brain comes up with an excuse to evoke his name until I can squash the thoughts back down and keep on going.

The dog wriggles in my arms, bringing me back to the present. He seems comfortable enough to try making a second run at my breakfast plate. I can’t really blame him though, Saturday breakfast is amazing. Well, at least _someone_ wants to come to my party.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be eating bacon and eggs.” I hold him in my right arm while I use my left hand to move the plate to the counter and out of his reach. I don’t dare put him down in case he decides to make a run for it.

The neighbors here had labs. Didn’t they move a week ago? Stepping to the nearby window I look outside to confirm and yeah, their house is empty and the yard is starting to become overgrown.

“Did they leave you here?” I pet his soft, dirty head and he looks up at me as if to say ‘Please don’t kick me out.’

Maybe I’m imagining things, thinking that I can somehow read this dog’s thoughts. I probably spend entirely too much time alone in this house.

Doggy smell, soft dirty fur, muddy paws, my sense fill with these additions to my small world. I run my fingers over his feet to wipe some of the crusted mud away but when I get to his front paws he yelps and pull his right one back. He lunges his head forward like he’s going to bite me but then holds back and instead licks my hand. He’s apologizing even though _I’m_ the one that hurt him.

He’s definitely someone’s dog, or at least was at some point. “You used to have a family, didn’t you?” Yep, I’m officially talking to a puppy.

He looks up at me and enthusiastically wags his tail. “You’re killing me with those puppy dog eyes.” I snort a little at my bad joke. If this little guy had a home at one point, he certainly doesn’t right now. I look at my kitchen full of food for my no-show sister and her kid. I threw a breakfast party and this little stranger decided to show up and help himself instead. Such is the power of bacon.

My mind clicks through my agenda for the day. I have an appointment for a kitchen consult and a remodel to check on but those aren’t until later in the day. My morning is completely open.

The local vet should know my neighbor’s cell phone number. If I placed a bet, I’d say he was theirs and they probably left him. Some people really are assholes.

“We gotta get that paw looked at, little guy.” I scratch his neck and he leans in, taking all the love that I’ll give him. This puppy is both completely trusting and totally helpless.

I pull my phone out and google the vet. A quick call reveals that they’re open and yes, I can come in now. Crap, I just detailed my truck. “You can stay on a blanket, right Trip?” He licks my hand and gazes up at me as though I’m his new best friend.

I’m probably just projecting.

* * * * *

Driving is a trick. The dog’s scared and pees on the blanket. Well, shit.

He wants to sit in my lap and I'm definitely one hundred percent certain that this is not how I’m supposed to be transporting a puppy.

It ends up being a slow crawl of a drive across town so I get him to stay right next to me and I keep an arm around him as we go. He cried again when I brushed against his right paw so I’m glad we’re getting him seen today.

His ears flap a little as we rumble down the road. My whole truck now smells like dog and a quick glance downward reveals that I’m also covered in dog. Everything about me is somehow layered in dog. I’m going out in public in a dirty shirt and I can just hear my old man giving me crap about it. ‘I told you dogs were dirty.’

Once we arrive, I gather him up and carry him inside. The waiting room is all tile and the light bounces from the windows all around and off the clean floor. Tile. That’s actually a good idea. Too bad my truck and shirt aren’t both made of tile.

A woman with silver hair comes out through a door with a giant white dog. I’ve never seen a dog the size of this thing. She smiles at me, a big huge sunny grin, and I smile back. Is this what it’s like to have a dog? Everyone smiles at you and you’re instantly, somehow, everyone’s friend?

I juggle him in my arms as the receptionist hands me a clipboard with a bunch of forms. She’s beaming and I wonder if he’s smiling at someone in particular. Oh, she’s smiling at me because I have a dog. Right.

This form is hilarious. Dog name? Age? Vaccinations? He’s in my left arm, the clipboard propped up on my right kneed and I’m writing with my right hand. It’s like some kind of doggy-parent field test. I manage to just put down my information and an explanation of why I’m here before placing it back on the counter.

I lean back in one of the chairs with the puppy in my lap. He’s made himself right at home with me and we settle in to wait. It’s pleasant in here and there’s air conditioning and plants and lots of sunlight. I smell like bacon and eggs and pancakes and dog. I pet his soft head and he snuffles up into my hand, happy to be on the receiving end of any kind of affection.

The nurse calls us back and I scoop him up so that he doesn’t squirm before we go in. She has me put him on a table and he’s instantly flirting with her, tail wagging like crazy. What would it take to make this dog mad? He’s so friendly and everyone is excited to see him. Don’t these people spend all day seeing puppies?

The nurse tells me that they actually spend most of their time seeing older or sick animals. They only occasionally see puppies and they are the happiest appointments of the day. I guess that makes sense. She’s also been smiling at me the entire time too. I think I’ve walked into the friendliest place on earth.

She checks his paw first, takes his weight and stats and asks me a bunch of questions. I try to be helpful and tell her the whole story and why I don’t know how old he is, what he eats, or anything else about him for that matter. She takes us to another room and says that the doctor will be right in. I keep him scooped up in my arms since it’s a pretty big office and I don’t want him wandering off somewhere or getting lost.

Trip is a little turned around, so I pet his head and do my best to keep him calm and happy.

The doctor comes in and his features are striking. He’s blonde, has broad shoulders and a well-built, strong frame. He’s all strength and curves in just the right places; he’s _exactly_ my type. I’m more beefy, thickly-built, but I have a tattoo sleeve up my left arm in comparison to his all-American clean-cut looks.

He’s not smiling when he looks at me. Instead he has a weird look on his face and I suddenly realize that I know him.

Steven Grant Rogers.

Well, fuck…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, questions, and kudos are everyone's lifeblood on here. Feel free to share, or not, it's up to you. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting off by front-loading a couple chapters. Updates should be relatively quick on this, under a week between chapters.

_Steve_

Just be professional, be professional, Steve. It’s been ten years since you’ve seen him.

It was an ordinary Saturday at work. Nat handed me the file for the next patient with her report. “Super-hot good Samaritan with a red Labrador puppy. Has a foxtail in his right front paw, seems to be in good health otherwise. We think the dog was abandoned.”

Puppies are always fun, I mean that’s why kids usually want to become vets when they’re little. Sometimes the job actually does look like the coloring books. But, when I looked at the file in my hand, the coloring book suddenly turned into the horror movie of the week.

“You okay, Steve?” Nat asks while frowning at me.

I somehow manage to rip myself away from my thudding heart and swallow, feigning a sense of calm. “Yeah. Hey, you’re coming to dinner with me tonight, right?”

She rolls her eyes and lets her head rest against the door frame. “I’m not sure anyone will ever believe that we’re dating, Rogers. Doesn’t your dad care that I work here?”

I cough a sudden, if somewhat insincere, laugh. “My dad’s a relic. It’s okay that we work together so long as you’re a woman.”

This earns me a sigh in return. “Yes, I will come to your family dinner and let them think whatever they want about us.”

“We don’t have to act like we’re dating. You just have to come with me and my dad will make his own assumptions. I promise I’ll make it up to you though. I’ll get the beer and we can have a Killjoys marathon after.” I give her my cheesiest grin just for some added emphasis.

She snorts at me in response. “That’s as much a reward for you as it is for me. Bring your laptop so I can catch up on Game of Thrones. You’re the one with the HBO and Starz subscriptions.”

I waggle my eyebrows at her, just for fun. “I call that a win-win. We might as well be an old married couple since you have to tolerate my parents and then we get to spend Friday night drinking and watching TV.”

“You keep telling yourself that, Rogers.” She waves at me while leaving the room. “Don’t forget the puppy in room two.”

I haven’t forgotten.

James Barnes. Bucky. My best friend since fourth grade. He and his family moved into town that year and our teacher put him next to me. I helped him with studying history and he protected me from bullies and made me look about ten times cooler. One Christmas I got Halo for my Xbox and we played it nonstop for the entire winter break. His dad was strict but I helped him with his homework, so he got to spend a lot of time at my house. He didn’t need nearly as much tutoring as he told his parents but it got him out of the house and he got to spend more time with me. My dad was strict too, but more in the way of academic expectations and good grades.

As we got older I realized I wasn’t into girls. Bucky didn’t really date much either but I just assumed he was too busy with sports or whatever. I think all the girls in our classes were in love with him. More like _everyone_ was in love with him. Then, like the cliche, I developed a crush on my best friend. I did everything I could to hide it from him until one day I didn’t need to hide it at all. At least not from him. Then, for a brief but perfect time, we were together.

My heart is pounding in my chest now. Calm down, Steve. I can’t keep him waiting forever. I just need to do my job. I just need to not turn back into that nineteen-year-old who lost the best thing that’s ever happened to him, _ever_.

I buried this wound ten years ago. I never stopped to examine it or process it and just shoved it down and moved on.

Now it’s waiting for me in Exam Room Two.

Inside my chest there are claws peeling an enormous scab off the surface of my heart and forcing me to feel and relive things I hoped I had forgotten a long time ago.

But there is a puppy involved. I’ll just focus on the puppy. Maybe he won’t recognize me…

* * * * *

He doesn’t at first. He’s so big now. Bigger than I remember him being and he practically fills the room. His black, short sleeve henley stretches across large corded muscles. His arms are enormous, muscle on top of muscle, his left arm covered in a sort of tech/mechanical looking tattoo. His face has changed a bit, but I can still tell it’s him. He’s slightly older now, more chiseled and sharp. He’s refined with a bit of an edge to him. He’s let his hair grow out, reaching down to just below his ears, but it’s still that dark shade of brown that it’s always been. To top that off, he’s got neatly trimmed stubble accenting his jaw and it makes me want to just reach out and touch it.

He still has the same meticulous air, everything is neat and in its proper place. Except now he’s covered in dog hair and is cradling a red-furred puppy in his lap.

He looks at me, his expression expectant and blank. I can’t even imagine what my face must be doing. I’m clutching the file and staring, trying not to gape at his he-man frame and tree-trunk thighs.

A confusing cascade of physical and emotional reactions runs through me like a stampede. He’s gorgeous and I still have feelings for him. I’ve spent every day of the past ten years missing him but reality always hits me hard; I ruined everything we had. Then, everything starts to settle into the more familiar end for this line of thought:  sadness and resignation. Time to shove all these feelings in a box and get the job done.

The moment before he recognizes me are like an odd free fall, but then the realization dawns on him and I take a deep breath.

“Bucky.”

His answer is delayed by just a beat. “Steve!?” His eyes widen and his mouth drops for a split second but then he snaps it shut and recomposes his features. A mask of politeness covers the raw surprise and emotion I saw just a moment before.

I have to play this cool. There’s no other way for me to be able to get through this otherwise. The energy between us is building rapidly and I feel like I’m about to jump out of my skin.

“You brought a puppy!” I focus all my attention on the dog. He’s cute, as labs usually tend to be. “Let’s take a look at him.” I pat the examining table and he stands up with the dog in his arms.

He’s taller than the last time I saw him, but then again so am I. He’s just a hair shorter than I am and I’ve managed to top out at just over six feet.

He sets the dog on the table and steps back to fold his arms. The puppy is a rather squirmy character but most puppies tend to be anyway. “Hey buddy, have you had a big adventure?” I pet him between his ears to calm him and see if he’ll let me look him over. “I’m going to check your paw and see why it’s sore, okay bud?” He resists at first, trying to pull his paw away, but then relaxes and lets me look it over.

“He’s got a foxtail in his paw.” I show Bucky, pulling apart the pads of his foot in the process. The puppy yelps and Bucky looks slightly alarmed.

“What does that mean?” He frowns and works his jaw back and forth in worry.

“He needs surgery to get it out and then it’ll need stitches after. What are your plans with this dog?”

Bucky blinks several times and then scratches his left shoulder with his right hand. “Uh, I dunno. I think my neighbors moved and left him behind. I thought maybe you might have their number to get in contact?”

“That’s a good idea. Let me check him out and see how the rest of him looks.” I don’t hold out much hope on the issue of his neighbors. This dog looks like he’s been on his own a bit longer than someone whose family actually wanted him and had just misplaced him. “Your neighbor had a lab?”

“Uh, yeah. I think they had an adult and it must have had puppies.”

Just great. I bite my tongue to stem my comments about irresponsible dog owners. Need to change the subject. “So you’re back in town? How long have you been back for?”

“Moved back about a year ago. I bought my folks’ place.”

A year! My heart sinks a bit hearing that but I can’t really blame him for not seeking me out. I was the one that broke his heart so I don’t deserve any kind of consideration from him. “I’m sorry about your mom. I always liked her.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

No one could accuse Bucky of talking too much or giving too many details. His dad died a while ago, I think while he was in the Army, but his mom died more recently. Staying in your small hometown means that you know everyone’s business and they know yours, unfortunately.

I didn’t go to his mom’s funeral last year simply because I could risk seeing Bucky again, but I guess fate had other plans.

I fall back on my vet role and talk to the puppy and narrate what I’m doing to check him over. Talking helps animals cope with exams and stress in general, especially when it comes to dogs. I check his eyes, nose, and ears and he leans into each gentle touch that he’s given. He really is a very sweet little guy.

I do a quick check of his teeth to make sure that they’re healthy. “His teeth tell me that he’s about three months old.”

“You can tell that?” Bucky asks. He stands close on the other side of the table, hovering. It seems as though he’s forcing himself to not touch the puppy while I do my exam. Even with the table and the dog between us, I can feel his presence, his energy, and his body heat. He must be an absolute furnace up close.

I check him over for fleas and ticks and run my hands through his fur. He rolls over for a belly rub and I spot a couple fleas. Not really surprising considering his circumstances.

“Was he in your house?”

“Yeah. I left my kitchen door open and when I turned my back he came in and stole part of my breakfast.” He’s now smiling fondly at the puppy laid out on the table. “He ate my bacon. He seems kind of thin, doesn’t he?”

“He’s definitely underweight. So what have you been feeding him?’

“Just the bacon he stole.” He grins at me like that’s some sort of accomplishment.

“Yeah, don’t feed a dog bacon. People always think dogs need bacon and cats need milk but that’s just an urban myth. Neither are good in any substantial amount.”

“I didn’t feed it to him, he stole it, didn’t you Trip?” He pets the puppy under the chin and he immediately goes into a tail wagging frenzy.

I stop my exam and look at Bucky. “Trip?”

“I have to call him something while I wait for his owners to come get him. It’s just a nickname, since I almost tripped over him when we first met.” His blue-gray eyes crinkle, just a little, and look into mine just a bit longer than I’m ready for. I swallow hard and look away, back toward the puppy.

Sure, whatever he says. I’ve never known someone to name a dog and then not keep them as their own. Bucky’s turned into a dog person and he doesn’t even know it yet.

I keep checking the puppy over. His other paws look okay, though a little dirty, and he’s got some rough pebbles between his pads that I’ll need to clean out.

“He looks good overall, but he needs to have his paw taken care of. He also has fleas. We’ll probably run a dewormer as well since when a dog has fleas it’s usually an indication that they have worms too. Plus, he was out on his own so we don’t really know what else he may have picked up. We have a Good Samaritan discount we can give you if you decide to go ahead with the treatments for him.” I keep my eyes on the dog as there’s only so much eye contact from Bucky that I can deal with. Every time I look into his eyes it’s like I want to drown in them and never come back up for air again.

Bucky runs his hand through his hair and lets out a forced breath. “Alright, I guess if his owners come get him then they can pay me back.”

I don’t really know how to respond to that, so ignore it and keep going. “We can do all the things he needs today, keep him overnight for his paw, and then you can pick him up on Monday.”

Bucky blinks. “Monday?” As he looks at Trip, I can see the gears turning. Some of this interaction is so normal it’s almost freaky. It’s like nothing has happened between us and we are the same easy friends that we always were. Apparently, having a dog to talk about seems to help.

My throat feels dry, but I have to step out of my comfort zone and take a chance on this. “I could meet you here tomorrow. We’re not usually open but I could show you how to give him a bath and get you started on puppy care. If you want to, that is.” As soon as I say it, I start beating myself up on the inside. What the hell am I doing? He’s never going to forgive me for what I did to him all those years ago, but I can’t help myself. Bucky has a magnetic pull that I just can’t resist.

His eyes meet mine and I fall into the stormy blue-grays like they’re a secret part of him that is both tender and real. He’s so big and thick and strong, but I see his eyes. He’s the same Bucky that I always knew. Almost the same. He’s changed, as time is oft to do to a person. He’s harder, maybe a bit sharper around the edges, but it’s still him. He’s the same Bucky that I fell for all those years ago.

He looks away, thinking, then lifts his chin. “Okay. I’m going to need all the help I can get. I’ve never had a dog before, remember?”

I stand there, rooted in place. My hand is still on the puppy, lazily stroking his soft fur. He’s decided to lie down and is licking his paw. That’s not good for him but I’ll take care of that soon enough. “I remember.”

“So, uh, what do I do now? Do I just leave him here?” It’s easy to see that he really doesn’t want to leave the dog here.

“Nat will have you sign all the forms and you’ll pay up front. Then, if you decide to come back and get him, you need to bring a travel kennel to transport him home. It can be his own room in your house too. You know, while you wait to hear from his owners. You also need good quality dog food for him too. Nat can give you all the information you need when you check out.”

“What happens if they don’t want him and I can’t keep him?”

“We’ll call the local Labrador rescue and they would come pick him up. Puppies are easy to adopt, so he’ll probably be picked up really quickly.”

He rubs his chin in thought. “I guess I have some time to think about it.” He pets the dirty little puppy sprawled out on the table. Even hungry and with an injured paw, he still looks a little sleepy from his morning adventure.

I pull out a business card and jot my cell phone number on the back. “Here’s my number. The number on your form is your cell phone?”

“Yeah, that’s my cell.” He takes the card and flips it over, looking at both sides. I can admit that a bit of pride swells inside of me. I really did become a vet, just like I always said I would growing up.

“I’ll text you if we hear from the family, and after his surgery. If you want to meet me here tomorrow to come get him, you have my number.”

“Got it. It was good to see you again. Thank you.” He holds out his hand to shake mine and I hesitate a moment before taking it. His grip is warm, calloused, and strong, just like the rest of him. The chemistry humming between us during the exam explodes in the bare millimeters of space between our hands. I desperately try not to experience one of those moments like in the movies where someone relives thirty years of their life in a split second. Stay in the present. Stay in the present, Steve. Somehow, I manage to let go of his hand just in time before slipping off into reminiscence.

He finally takes his other hand off of the puppy and backs out of the room. “I’ll go talk to Nat. Take care of Trip.”

I hold my hand up in a wave and he does the same before turning and heading out the door.

And with that, he’s gone.

I finish filling out my notes about the exam and what I’ll need to do for his surgery later. In the blank name spot on the form I fill in ‘Trip Barnes.’

I know he’s keeping this dog. I can always tell when it comes to people and how they feel about animals. I wish I could read people in other ways than just how they feel about their pets. When it comes to people relationships, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on.

He has my number. He has to text me if he wants to see me again.

The ball is in his court, but I have his dog.

I scoop up the adorable ball of red fur. “Come on, Trip. Let’s go see about that paw.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, kudos, all are welcome. :)


	3. Chapter 3

_ Bucky _

My arms feel empty. It feels strange to just leave the puppy here after being responsible for him all morning. Nat’s up front with a giant stack of forms for me to sign. “What’s the name of your neighbors? I can look them up and give them a call.”

“Rollins. I have to ask, what kind of asshole moves and leaves a puppy behind?”

Her lips twitch like she’s suppressing an ill-humored smile. “Total. The kind is total.”

Is there really any other kind?

“So what are the odds they’re going to want this dog back? I mean they moved. Probably pretty far away.” I flip through all these papers and realize that it’s a good thing I have a rather hefty savings account.

She raises her red eyebrows as she considers her answer. “My honest opinion? If they wanted the dog they wouldn’t have left until they found him. If they’re in another state, they probably aren’t going to want to pay to have him shipped back to them.”

So the dog is pretty much mine then. I don’t have to keep him. Puppies are easy to adopt, especially when they are this cute, but it seems like fate at this point. He came into my kitchen the moment I realized I was all alone in upholding tradition. Trip can be my family now. He’s the one who showed up for breakfast anyway. Someone else could probably adopt him—but he’s mine.

“Dr. Rogers told me he would text when my neighbors reply. But should I operate on the assumption that they’re not going to want him back?”

“Anything is possible, but that would be my guess.” She’s raised her eyebrows at my careful reading of all the paperwork. It seems that she’s not used to people actually bothering to take the time to read all of the fine print.

“I don’t know if he mentioned it or not, but we do offer a Good Samaritan discount in cases like this since you are paying the bill for a stray.”

That statement seals the deal and I make a decision right there. “No discounts. He’s not a stray, not anymore. He’s my dog now and he has a home with me.” I don’t know why, but it feels terrific to say that.

Nat breaks into a wide smile. “I love it! Good for you. I can already tell you are going to be a great doggy daddy.”

I shift my weight from one foot to the other. “Er, thanks. He’s a great dog but I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ll have to figure it all out.”

“That reminds me, this says the dog has fleas. Was he in your house?”

Oh, crap. “Yeah, but just in my kitchen. And in my truck. I had him on a blanket but he peed on it so I threw it in the bed to deal with later.”

“Okay, make sure you scrub and sanitize your kitchen and wash the blanket in hot water. You don’t want to introduce fleas into your house. I’d also get your truck detailed right away.”

Great, just what I needed to do today.

“After you clean your truck, sprinkle everywhere he’s been with salt. Do the same with your kitchen too. Let it sit and then vacuum it up right before you come to get him. Then make sure you throw the vacuum bag away.”

“This is why puppies are cute, isn’t it?”

“Absolutely, that’s exactly why.” She laughs and I notice dimples. Are she and Steve friends? I wonder what she knows about him.

“Thanks for the heads up.” I finish signing everything and hand her my debit card. As soon as I pay this dog’s vet bill, he’s mine. I’ve already decided it.

She runs my card, hands it back with my receipt and gives me several more papers. “Here’s a list of all the things you’re going to need, including the dog food we recommend. They can also help you at the pet store.”

She’s batting her eyelashes at me now. How did I not notice that before? After running into Steve again, it’s like no one else in the world really matters. But, I don’t want to be rude to her so I just act like I haven’t noticed anything.

“So are your kids going to be pretty excited about this puppy?” She’s now officially fishing for information, but I have to give some credit where it’s due.

“I don’t have any kids, at least that I know of.” I give her a smile as though that’s the funniest joke in the world. It’s not that funny but it tends to throw people off. I’m all about avoiding the question entirely.

“Oh, then a Mrs. Barnes?”

I want to tell her that I like men. That would do it, but it’s not really any of her business to begin with. No one ever believes me, though and I don’t feel like explaining it to my veterinarian’s nurse. It’s nobody’s damned business and not because I’m ashamed of who I am either. Being twenty-nine is a lot less confusing than being nineteen and it’s not my responsibility to explain my sexuality to everyone I meet.

But what is Steve’s? Did he ever stand up to his dad? I’m practically dying to know by this point.

“I’m more the lone wolf type.” I’m still trying to be breezy and politely blow her off.

“A lone wolf with a Labrador puppy? Sounds terrifying.” She’s completely relaxed now and laughing at me. At least I’m in the clear now.

“About those fleas. Remember to wash your shirt too.” She looks at my chest, her eyes lingering a bit longer than necessary. I look down at my shirt and notice that I’m well and truly covered in red dog hair.

I imagine fleas in my truck and house. Do I really want a dog? Meh, it’s not that big of a deal to take care of. Nothing could possibly be worse than some of the places I’ve been with the Army.

“You can get rid of the fleas.” Nat smiles at me. Was I actually being that obvious? “We’ll take care of the puppy for you and keep you updated. Thanks for coming in!”

The moment I’m out, I peel off my shirt and toss it in the back of my truck with the blanket. I glance back and notice Nat and Steve watching me through the window, so I wave at them. I don’t think Steve realized I could see them.

Now that he’s seen me without my shirt, I think it’s only fair that I get to see him without his. He’s definitely not the tiny, sickly person he was when he was in high school. He’s taller, taller than me now, and broadly muscular. His straight blond hair is thick and almost stands up on its own. He’s gorgeous with defined cheekbones, full lips and those impossibly deep-set blue eyes with just the tiniest flecks of green in them. I’ve always had a weakness for blondes and it’s probably entirely his fault.

I need to stop now. Get a hold of yourself, Bucky. These thoughts are going to get you nowhere.

I take off in my truck and head down the road, familiar landmarks whizzing by. When I came back a year ago it was a shock to see how much of this small city had changed. I guess cities and people are alike that way. Time affects us all equally.

For a brief moment, my mind flicks back to that night when everything between us changed. After high school, Steve and I had a college art history class together. It was one of those general electives that fit into a slot everyone had to fill. We had just passed a big test that day and we were cutting loose.

_ It’s Friday night and time to celebrate making it through that awful test. We dig into the beer I swiped from my old man. It doesn’t take long before we decide that climbing into Steve’s parents’ backyard hot tub is a good idea. Drunk and friends since forever, it’s not a big deal to strip down naked for a swim. _

_ Except this time is different. I watch him take off his clothes from the corner of my eye. I feel like I shouldn’t, but it turns me on to see how much he’s changed over time. I’m fascinated by the size of his cock and how he’s finally starting to hit is stride in growing up at the end of puberty. Damn, when did that happen. He’s longer than me and I can’t help but wonder what it’s like when it’s erect. Is he a grower or a shower? Thinking about this makes my own dick swell and I can feel its weight lift and twitch as I pull my jeans off over my feet. _

_ I don’t know if he sees me looking or not, but I think that he does because his dick is twitching too. I hurry and hop into the hot tub only to turn around and he’s jumping in at the same time. I’m glad it’s dark out here so he can’t see the heat rising on my cheeks and coloring them a deep shade of red. _

_ I’m submerged in water, drunk and uninhibited. I grip the root of my cock and squeeze. I’m not going to actually jerk off here, just get a little bit of relief. Of course that’s not how this works but I delude myself into thinking that it will anyway. I’m pretty sure that Steve can’t see what I’m doing so I stroke myself lazily. _

_ We should have brought the beer in here, Steve says. He’s across from me and is he holding his cock? He closes his eyes and leans back while letting his arm move, working himself over. _

_ “Dude, you’re jerking off?” Never mind that I’m doing exactly the same thing. Watching him is making me crazy. I want to see his cock, touch it, feel its hard length in my hand. _

_ I’m laughing at this point, giddy that we’re jerking off together. The spiraling dizziness of the beer and heat and bubbles in the hot tub making the whole experience seem like some kind of dream or out-of-body experience. _

_ “So are you! I can see you!” _

_ “No, I’m not,” I insist. I don’t know why, but I just feel like denying it. _

_ “Prove it.” Steve is giving me his patented look of outward defiance by raising his chin and giving me the eye. This is a dare. _

_ At this point I’m just enjoying being a smartass to him. “How am I supposed to prove I’m not doing something?” I hold both of my arms up above my head in mock surrender. _

_ “Stand up then.” His arm is still moving underwater and clearly stroking his shaft. _

_ Well, I’m caught. My face cracks up and on an impulse, I stand up, the water rushing off of me in one big whoosh. I’m throbbing, hard as a rock and sticking straight up toward the sky. I make the most of the moment and turn to point it in every direction, making it bob as I move. “Yeah! Jerking in the hot tub!” _

_ Steve laughs. “You’re crazy!” He’s staring at my cock though and I see him lick his lips. _

_ “Your turn, punk.” I gesture at him to stand up like an orchestra maestro raising his hands to get the audience on their feet. _

_ His eyes go wide and I feel my heart pound but I shake off the nerves. “What’s the big deal, Stevie? Don’t leave me hangin’!” _

_ He laughs again. “Alright, jerk.” He grabs the edge of the tub and stands up. Well, damn, he’s definitely bigger than me down there. He’s amazing, totally perfect, like you know if someone drew a picture of the perfect cock? It would be his. _

_ “Your dick is huge, Steve!” I laugh, gesturing at it. _

_ His confidence suddenly surges and he strikes a superhero pose like Superman or Captain America while waving his cock at me. The sober part of my brain questions if we’ve crossed some kind of invisible line in our friendship but the rest of me simply doesn’t care. _

_ Still standing, I grab my shaft and start stroking again, the throbbing demands it. His eyes widen as he takes me in and watches intently. “So damned horny.” _

_ He quickly looks up at the windows of his house and sits back down in the water. “Shhh, my parents might hear us.” _

_ Oh shit. I quickly sit back down in the water to get myself out of view. _

_ “No one can see us if we sit in this corner.” He slides over against the wall and into the corner of the hot tub. _

_ “Good plan.” I join him in the corner and now my hips are touching his. His thigh is up against mine and our bare skin is touching. It turns me on so much that he’s naked and right next to me, stroking his hard cock. I go to town on mine while moaning, stretching myself out in the water. _

_ “Buck, you can’t cum in the hot tub!” It’s his parents’ house so I understand that he’s nervous. I live with ‘Colonel Dad’ after all. _

_ “Fuck, where am I supposed to nut then?” _

_ “I dunno, just don’t bust in here.” He’s stretched out next to me, his eyes closed, still jacking his huge cock. He’s breathing hard, I can see his chest rising and falling in the water, while he’s stroking his chest and stomach with his other hand. _

_ For a minute we’re just breathing hard and jerking off together. I’ve of guys doing this kind of think, jerk buddies, so it’s no big deal, right? He’s my best friend so why not? _

_ I’m getting closer and I can tell that he is too, the heat pooled in my stomach as it reaches some kind of threshold, a limit line, and it’s about to explode and make me blow. I half stand against the wall of the hot tub and push my hips up so my cock is above the surface of the water; it’s swollen and even bigger. Steve watches me with lidded eyes. “Fuck!” I moan and start spilling my load into my other hand. A few seconds later and Steve is right beside me, doing the same. Now we each have a hand full of cum and we’re both giggling like five-year-olds that just stole cookies from the cookie jar. _

_ “Now what?” I look around and somehow everything I see has me giggling hysterically. I’m liberated and happy and that was the most fun I’ve ever had. He’s holding his closed hand up out of the water and makes his way over to turn the hot tub off. _

_ “We streak inside.” He’s laughing like it’s the most obvious answer in existence. _

_ So we both pull ourselves out of the water, probably making a huge racket, and gather up our clothes as we make a run for it. There’s a sliding glass door into the basement of the house and his room is just down the hall. We run inside and rinse our hands in the bathroom sink. As soon as we’re done, we both crack up again and start shushing each other to be quiet. _

_ “Come on.” He checks the hall to make sure no one is around and we streak for his room. Once we get there the giddiness is leaving me and I’m starting to get sleepy. He crawls into his bed and I cocoon into the sleeping bag on the floor. We sleep like the dead. _

I shake my head back to reality and realize that it’s almost as though my truck drove itself home. I’m semi-hard in my pants just from the memory. It’s memories of those times with Steve that kept me warm during a lot of bad nights on deployment to Iraq and Afghanistan. I wonder if he’s thought as much about those times as I have?

Sure, I’ve had stuff going with people from time to time, but nobody gets under my skin and nobody has ever stuck around. It’s just sex for a night and that’s it. I don’t really know why. I have friends that are married with kids and have a great family. My sister may have married an asshole but she has a kid and has made a family of her own. For me, nobody could ever measure up to Steve.

Now I have a dog. Well, I probably do. That’s pretty cool though and it’s a decent start anyway.

Steve wouldn’t have offered to help me with the puppy if he didn’t want to be friends, right? I really just want my best friend back.

When I think that, there’s a deep, throbbing pain in my chest. Is that all I want?

I shake the memories away and lose myself in flea cleaning. I have just enough time to get the house back in order, put on clean clothes and make it out to my kitchen consult.

I’m getting a dog and I’m definitely going to see Steve again.

I don’t think either of us can resist that now that we’re back in touch with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, kudos, lay them on me people. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to hit the pet store with our boys. Oh, and Darcy :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 5 and 6 will be up tomorrow. I'm putting both up one right after the other because 5 is just a short transition Chapter in Steve's POV that sets the stage for Chapter 6.
> 
> Enjoy! :D

_Bucky_

After my afternoon appointments I check my phone. There’s a text from a new number that I assume is Steve’s.

_Unknown Number:  Paw went well. Did the other treatments. Puppy sleeping. Nat got your neighbor on the phone but they don’t want him. Are you going to keep him?_

I get a charge of excitement from the message. There’s an eight-year-old kid inside me whose dad said no to a dog but now he’s finally getting one.

I look up at the sky and think, ‘I’m bringing a dog into your house, Dad.’ There is no reply; there never is. There’s just a blue sky with a few clouds and a light breeze. Sometimes the loudest noise a person makes when they’re gone is the complete and total silence that they leave behind.

I should probably text him back.

_Bucky:  Guess I’m going to the pet store._

The list Nat gave me is still in my truck and I carry it like I’m clutching the only map to a strange, new land. When I enter the pet store a girl with an earnest smile, a blue apron and a name tag that says _Darcy_ approaches me. She has wavy brown hair and looks like she’s barely a day outside of being a teenager except for her sizable rack.

“Can I help you find something, muscles?” Her eyebrows are raised as she looks me up and down. I get it, I’m a built guy. I’m not looking for attention but being big also means that people don’t mess with me. Sometimes I get things I want or need easier so it works for me. I usually try to ignore it though.

“Yeah, I’m getting a three month old Labrador retriever. I need a travel kennel, dog food, and, uh, the vet gave me a list.” I hand the paper over to her.

Her eyes sparkle with this new information. “A lab puppy! You have to bring him in next time.”

“Into the store?” I look around at the shiny white floor and neat displays.

“Yep. You can bring your dogs here; they love it. They need to socialize and learn how to behave in public.” She says this in an almost mocking tone, like I’m supposed to already know all of this. “Don’t worry, all our floors are tile.” She gestures widely around the store like a game show hostess.

I laugh slightly. There is literally tile everywhere. I’m glad I ripped up every piece of carpet in my house now. Everything is wood. Too much wood in my house. Not that there is such a thing as too much wood in a home. “Good plan, I guess I will then.”

My phone dings in my pocket. When I look at it I see that Steve has texted back.

_Steve:  I’m done here, need some help?_

This girl is doing her best to help me but I’m not going to turn down 'professional' help.

At least, that’s how I rationalize it to myself. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I’ve just reconnected with my best friend and first love of my life and I _really_ want to spend every waking moment with the man as close to me as possible. Nope, not a damn thing to do with that.

_Bucky:  I have the list, but yes please._

The vet’s office isn’t far from here, so it won’t take him long. Darcy helps me find the right dog food and I load it into the cart. There’s so much stuff here that I feel like I could probably spend millions on this dog and still have more things to buy.

“I know I need a travel kennel. Let’s get that out of the way.” She shows me all the options and it feels like there are thousands of them sitting on the broad shelves along the back of the store.

“You need to get a smaller one now and then a bigger one for when he’s grown up.”

Of course I do. I don’t bother asking why I can’t just get a bigger one now because I’m afraid it will earn me some kind of ‘look.’ Something else I’m supposed to already know. I check all of my options for sturdiness and quality. If I’m spending the money then I’m not buying some flimsy piece of crap. I finally pick one that looks solid and reliable.

“All right, this one looks good. This free puppy is turning out to be expensive.”

She laughs at me, but it’s good natured. “But they’re worth it!”

“Man’s best friend, right?” I pick up the kennel and try to pile it into the cart but it won’t fit with the other stuff.

“Are you finding everything you need?” Steve appears from around the corner and he looks absolutely stunning. Hair slightly messy from work and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Preppy and so much not like me. I like it.

I tilt my chin up at him. “Hey.”

He mimics my gesture and raises his eyebrows.

Darcy gets a good look at Steve and purses her lips. “I’ll take this up front for when you’re ready. If you need more help, let me know.” She departs to haul the collapsed kennel to hold up front.

“I’m glad you’re here. You can show me what I need and you don’t have an agenda.” I lower my voice for the word ‘agenda’ and nod towards the front. Something about being around Steve always brings out the mischievous trickster in me.

Steve laughs knowingly. “Come on, I’ll help you get everything.” We go through the list like Santa Claus checking Christmas wishes off his list and load up my cart. Food bowls, piddle pads, brushes, shampoo, two dog beds, some dental treats, chew toys, and toenail clippers. I insist on checking every item over to ensure I only get the best quality items. I hate shitty things and besides, Trip is my boy now. Only the best for him.

It’s good to see Steve again, especially out and about. It’s nice to spend time with him and have something to do and to talk about.

I save picking a collar for last. Steve shows me the kind Trip needs and again, I’m told that I have to buy a new one when he’s bigger. I pick one in desert camouflage, because why not?

“He needs a leash too. You have to take him out a lot to socialize him and train him how to behave in public around people and other dogs. That reminds me, lets get you a clicker.”

A clicker? I give him a curious look since I have no idea what he’s talking about.

“I’ll show you how it works, don’t worry, Buck.” It’s like old times when we were kids and he helped me with my history homework.

We get up front and the friendly Darcy looks at us together and raises her eyebrows. “You guys excited about your new puppy?”

Steve starts to correct her but I nudge him with my elbow. “Yeah, and it’s easier than adopting a kid right?” My chest fills with mischief. It bubbles up and I can’t stop grinning. I look over and Steve is changing to a bright shade of red, the color crawling up his neck across his face and all the way up over his ears. God he looks amazing when he blushes that hard.

“Could I build him a kennel in my house?” I turn to Steve, then correct myself, “I mean our house.” I watch the red get darker and travel even further over his ears and up into his hairline. Darcy just looks confused.

“We’re still working out living arrangements.” I wave my hand back and forth between Steve and myself.

“Ah,” she says, “I understand.” She looks and sounds like she doesn’t understand at all but that’s fine. I’ve had my fun at this point.

When she rings up the collar she says, “Oh! Do you want a name tag for him?”

Now I really am like that little kid who always wanted a dog. “Absolutely!”

“Okay, what’s the dog’s name?”

“Trip,” Steve and I answer at the same time.

It’s like no time has passed at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, kudos, lifeblood of the AO3 author. Don't be stingy. :P


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick interlude and thoughts from Steve's side of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but the next one is going up immediately to compensate :)

_ Steve _

* * *

 

I don’t know if I want to hug Bucky or kill him. How is he so comfortable joking about this? I think my family knows, or guesses, but I haven’t told anyone. It’s simply just not discussed. Is he? Has he? He’s the one who’s been everywhere, who’s actually left his hometown for more than a couple days.

He’s probably just messing around. That’s just like him, once he’s relaxed and in a playful mood then no joke is off limits. Some kind of switch flips and it’s like he has no social inhibitions at all.

I help him carry all his stuff to his big black pickup truck. It’s a pretty masculine vehicle, more so than my little economy sedan.

He’s chuckling at me, or to himself, but I’m too embarrassed to say anything. Why am I so inhibited around him?

“Thanks for helping me out. So I just need to bring the kennel tomorrow?” He’s absentmindedly rubbing the stubble on his chin and I’m trying not to stare at him. Everything about him is absolutely stunning. He doesn’t seem to notice but I’m relatively certain everyone looks at him like that so he’s probably used to it.

I gather my composure again and clear my throat. “Yeah, just bring the kennel and his collar. Maybe the leash and the clicker too.”

“Wait, has he eaten yet?” Concern colors his face a darker shade. “He seemed pretty hungry when he stole that bacon. I didn’t get the chance to give him anything after that.”

I feel a happy spark inside when he says that. He’s going to be a great dog owner. Bucky’s always been meticulous with details and schedules. School was always easier for me but he’s way more organized than I am. It always made us a good team. “We fed him, don’t worry about it, Buck.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks.” He holds his hand out for another handshake.

I’m caught off guard for a minute. Spending time with him is confusing at times but I can’t resist him. I reach my own hand out and shake his in turn. This time I know to expect the warm touch and thick callouses and a thrill of excitement rushes through me. I imagine his big, rough hands roaming all over me, exploring every part of my body. I would just turn myself over to him, no questions asked, and let him do whatever he wanted. I realize I’m shaking his hand for too long and pull away quickly. His eyes crinkle at me at the edge of a mischievous smirk. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah.” I croak out.

“Hey, it’s your old car!” He tips his head at my little eco-box while grinning ear to ear.

“Yep, same car my parents bought for my sixteenth birthday.” That probably says everything anyone could possibly need to know about me. I’m still driving around in the car my parent’s picked for me as a kid; I’m hopelessly tethered to the path for my life that  _ they _ laid out for me.

“That’s great! So many memories…” He trails off before clearing his throat. “What time should I meet you at the office tomorrow?”

Oh yeah, Bucky wants to make appointments as soon as possible. He’s definitely the same overly-organized guy I remember from childhood. Tomorrow’s Sunday so how early do I  _ really _ want to get up? “How about ten?”

“Ten it is,” he says with a smile. “See you tomorrow, Steve!” For such a built guy, he’s awfully agile. He glides into his truck, fires up the V-8 engine, and drives away into the late afternoon sun.

I hurry and get into my car so I don’t end up standing in the parking lot gawking after him like a love-sick puppy. My drive home is uneventful but, then again, it’s not that far away. Nothing is really that far away in a city as small as this. Now that I’m alone though, I can sit by myself and think about Bucky.

An electric charge runs through me when I think about him pretending that we were a couple in the pet store. I’m sure my face was beet red but I’m too flummoxed by all of it to try and figure out what his angle is. I’m sure he was just joking.

I can’t help thinking though, ‘If only it was true.’

I work my jaw back and forth as I think it all over. It doesn’t matter if he was joking or not, I now have a chance to get my best friend back. The last ten years have taught me that I’d rather have him as a friend than as nothing at all. I can handle that, right?

I still can’t help the feeling of excitement surging through me at all these thoughts. I’m seeing him tomorrow.

But, first things first. I have to make it through dinner with my parents…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, questions, and kudos keep us authors going. Have it it people. :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with Steve's parents, Natasha, Sharon, and the twins! Nat and Sharon make it a bit more bearable but not by much.  
> Steve also remembers the worst day of his life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of the chapter is a bit depressing and there's a bit of "suggested homophobia" on the part of Steve's dad. If you're not into that sort of thing then this is your warning to stay away.
> 
> It's all contained in the italicized text if you want to skip it.

_Steve_

* * *

 

Saturday night dinner at my parents’ house is a regular thing. I think it’s their way, or rather my _father’s_ way, of keeping tabs on me. It’s not enough that I work for his veterinary practice; he has to keep tabs on me _all_ the time.

I take my time getting ready, so I’m late, of course. I definitely look respectable, but I am sure as hell going to be late. This little fact will irritate my father to no end and that’s probably why I do it.

All in all, it’s just a barbecue in the backyard. My dad is already disappointed in me so why does showing up late to an informal dinner even matter? His constant hum of disapproval is like a tinnitus that I can’t get rid of, I just have to live with the shrill overlay and hope that it will eventually fade into the background noise of my life.

Despite planning to be late to dinner, I’m certainly not late to pick up Natasha. There’s something about her, probably her eyes, that make me feel like crossing her will lead me to an early and untimely death. I could swear she was an assassin or government spy in a previous life.

She looks stunning in a black one-piece dress, platform sandals and a gold necklace. Her red hair is long and straight, the ends done up in a slight curl under that makes her look both elegant and, somehow, deadly. My mother will approve.

“Steve! Natasha!” My mother greets us with outstretched arms. She’s wearing trim capri pants and a smart button down to coordinate with relaxed summer footwear.

“Hi, Mom.” I move in and give her a big hug; she smells like Chanel No.5. “You’re wearing the perfume I got you!”

“I love it! Just right for a warm day like today.” She fans herself while preening in a joking way.

“This is for you.” I hand her the bottle of Apothic White wine I picked up on the way over.

“Ooohh, my favorite!” She winks at me and moves off to put it in the fridge. She already knows that it’s for later tonight, after we’ve left, and it’s just for her. Sometimes I think she’s a saint for putting up with my dad and sometimes I get angry at her for not standing up to him. He’s the one with the actual problem, though, so he gets the real blame.

I swallow the wad of dull anger welling in my throat and shove it as far down as it will go; it’s pointless to dwell on this and I usually don’t. Seeing Bucky has triggered all of these renewed feelings and I need to get them under control so I can make it through this evening. Nat gives me a quick squeeze on my arm, pulling me back to the present.

“Daddy! Dad!” My twins bum rush me from across the living room. I scoop them up, hefting one in each arm. I’ve become a pro at carrying them both at the same time since they were born barely twelve minutes apart nearly six years ago.

My ex-wife, Sharon, is right behind them. She got close to my family when I was in veterinary school while she was pregnant with Wanda and Pietro. She’s usually at these dinners because she comes bearing grandchildren. We even lived with my parents for a while, though that wasn’t as fun as most would think. She looks between me and Nat with one raised eyebrow before pulling Nat aside. “He roped you into coming?”

Nat laughs and steals a quick glance at my mom. “I don’t mind. There’s free food and it’s a halfway decent excuse to get out of my scrubs.”

“I bet. Well you look great, doesn’t she Steve?” She has a barely readable expression of pure amusement on her face.

“Adorable.” I give Sharon a pointed look, trying to shoot daggers with my mind. Why does she always have to tease me? “You know who else is adorable?”

“I am!” Wanda’s answer is enthusiastic as ever.

“I’m not adorable; I’m handsome.” Pietro is the defiant one and I’m beginning to think he gets that entirely from his mom.

“Daddy, there’s cake! Can we have some?”

“Not until after dinner right, Mommy?”

“That’s right, young lady. Come on and let’s get you guys washed up.” They slither down out of my arms and she takes them each by a hand and leads them to the bathroom.

“Come on, you can do this, Rogers.” Nat puts her arm around mine and walks me through the house to the backyard. My father is sitting on a patio couch in the shade, holding up a bottle of beer. She steers me toward him but sits us down so as to put herself between my father and I.

“Steven. Natasha, you look nice.” He barely bothers to turn his head my way. “Nice of you to show up.”

Nat, being the amazing person she is, takes the lead. “Hi, Dr. Rogers! How was the course this morning?”

“You would never know any of the people I play with went to medical school. None of them can count.”  He takes a sip of his beer, acting as though he’s somehow higher and mightier than his country club friends.

I clench my teeth at the comment. My dad can’t count on the golf course either so he has no business being critical of anyone else. “Maybe only vets can count,” Nat offers as she kicks my foot. Figures she would know what I was thinking.

My dad laughs in turn. “You’re a smart girl. Sucking up to the boss like that.”

“Just think, when you retire you can golf all day.” I can’t resist bringing it up. He says he’s going to sign the practice over to me. My plan is to send him monthly payments along with a share of the profit until I slowly buy out his share entirely. Eventually. I’m really just waiting for him to get around to finalizing the paperwork.

“We’ll see, Steven. How did your Saturday morning go?” I can’t remember the last time he so much as lifted a hand or even showed up to work on a Saturday. That’s what I’m for, right?

“Good. The usual, nothing interesting, though we did have a Good Samaritan bring a puppy.” Nat raises her eyebrows at me. I know she thought Bucky was good-looking. Nothing interesting, huh Nat? She doesn’t know the rest of the story.

“Oh really? Anyone I know?” My dad is only half listening, drinking his beer and being polite to her.

“Nope, no one you know. Just a guy who found a puppy his neighbors abandoned. Cute little red Labrador.” I have to shut down this conversation fast. He does _not_ need to know that I saw Bucky again after all these years.

I don’t know if my dad believes I’m dating Natasha or not. I think he doesn’t, but he seems more than happy to delude himself into believing that we are. He doesn’t actually care as long as I keep up appearances. Just then the twins come tumbling out of the house and I have a welcome distraction from more awkward time with my dad.

The rest of the barbecue I spend mostly with my kids. I can relax with them, be myself, and have something to do. Natasha and I help steer them through the meal and load them in the car when it’s finally time to go.

“Daddy, can you come tuck us in?” Wanda pulls on my shirt as I buckle her in. Pietro is looking at me expectantly, a small pout forming on his ever-defiant face.

“I wish. Not tonight, though. I’ll be there on Wednesday, remember?” I kiss both of them on their heads. They’re both still a little sticky from barbeque sauce _and_ cake, even though both Nat and I helped Sharon wipe them down after dessert. They’re going to need to be dunked in the bath tub.

I close the car door and give Sharon a quick side hug. “We’re having a Killjoys and Game of Thrones night tonight.”

“Yep, time to hold up your end of the deal, Rogers.” Nat laughs at me. “I can’t wait to get out of these shoes.”

“Fun! I love Game of Thrones! So is that how he roped you into this?” Sharon raises a knowing eyebrow at me.

“That and free booze. Maybe you can join us next time. You can tell me embarrassing stories about Steve.” Nat winks at me. She’s teasing me, again.

“I’m a boring topic. But we do have beer, so the more the merrier.” Sharon and I are okay. We just shouldn’t be married to each other. She’s actually one of my best friends, like she was in college before she got pregnant. Though we had some rough married years, our friendship has actually improved since we agreed to divorce.

“I don’t want to be a third wheel with you and your girlfriend. That would be an awkward position for an ex-wife.” Sharon emphasizes the word ‘girlfriend’ by giving me an extremely pointed look followed by a rather coy smirk.

Nat laughs so hard she’s on the verge of snorting. Sharon catches that bug and then she’s laughing too. I’m glad someone finds this whole situation funny.

“Alright, it’s settled then. Next time we’ll make it a trio.” I want to put a stop to all this merriment at my expense. I’m sure I probably deserve it to some extent, but still.

“Oh don’t be grumpy about it, Steve.” Sharon punches my shoulder. “You’re just too easy to tease. You need to lighten up a bit.”

“Isn’t he though?” Nat agrees. “Poor Steve. Let’s go get you some beer and TV.”

Both sound good right now and I’m tired of feeling tense around my old man. Every time I see him it’s like this. It will be better when he signs over the practice to me and I have to see him almost never.

Back at Nat’s apartment, slung all over the couch and a drink in hand, my mind wanders. I’ve already seen every episode of both Killjoys and Game of Thrones. There’s so many badasses on both of those shows, kicking ass and standing up to people. So unlike me.

I’m stewing about my dad at this point. He’s so smug, holding court like he’s the king of everything, like it’s completely okay that he’s controlling my life for me. I can usually shake or ignore this anger but seeing Bucky again has brought all of it back in vivid color.

_“I need to see you in my study.” My dad has that look, the one when you know he’s not happy and means business. My grades are pretty good, so it can’t be that. Did he find out? He holds the door open while I go in and sit down. He close it behind him and takes his time sitting in his chair. I’m left to sit there and wait on him. The clock on the wall ticks. It ticks and ticks and ticks and ticks. The room smells of leather and books and I try to make my mind as blank as possible. There’s still a part of me left over from when I was little and I thought they could read my mind. If I make my mind blank, then maybe they can’t read anything from me._

_“I’ve heard some things.” He pierces me with his eyes. His face is a mask, hanging on his skull without any expression at all._

_I furrow my brow. Things? What things? What am I supposed to say to ‘things?’ I don’t have an answer so I say nothing._

_“You and your ‘friend’ James.” He says ‘friend’ like it’s some kind of dirty, forbidden word. My head pounds in my ears and I feel lost. How did he find out?_

_“I’m not one to entertain gossip, of course.” He stops again and gives me that ‘dad’ look, again._

_I have nothing to say. I meet his gaze as straight on as I can._

_He continues. “Of course it’s your life, and you can live it however you want. But we all make choices. I have choices to make too. Just so we are clear, if you behave in any way that shames or disgraces the family name, I would be under no obligation to pay your tuition or other expenses or house you under my roof.” He leans back in his chair, letting his eyebrows rise on his face._

_The entire world falls out from under me. I’m frozen in my seat, embarrassed, sad, and hurt. My dad won’t accept me for who I am. I worried that he wouldn’t but I also fantasized that he would – when I was ready to tell him. Now I know the truth:  he’ll cut me off and leave me with nothing._

_“Do you understand?” He crosses his arms in front of himself, awaiting my answer._

_What do I do? I have to finish school or I’ll never be free. If I finish school, I can break away, be myself, be with Bucky. I just have to hold on a little longer and I can just walk away._

_I hold back the tears. I’m frozen on the inside and I learned a long time ago not to shed a single tear in front of my father._

_“Yes, sir.”_

_“I don’t want you to see him again. He’s a bad influence on your. I’ve put too much into you to let you ruin your life now.”_

_Never see him again? Bad influence? Ruin my life? I’m choking inside. I can feel my eyes and they’re wide, staring at him full of pain and terror. How can he do that to me? I’m powerless and I have nothing to fight back with._

_“Do I make myself clear?”_

_I swallow everything inside of me. “Yes, sir.”_

_He leans back in his chair, satisfied. “You’re excused.”_

_I feel like I’m five years old again and I slink out of the room, ashamed. I hate my father; I hate everything about him._

_I can hear my mom in the kitchen, scrubbing a pot. She scrubbed it for an hour and a half and then locked herself in their bedroom for the rest of the day._

_I don’t have my parents and I can’t have Bucky._

Half of my heart stopped beating that day:  the better half. Only when Bucky appeared in Exam Room Two did I dare to hope that it might start beating again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, concerns, kudos? Leave them here. :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets to pick up Trip, Steve shows him the basics of being a new doggy parent, and then a seemingly unfortunate change in Steve's life takes a decidedly more positive turn for the better (in a way...).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a longer chapter. More insight into the Barnes kids and more on Steve's situation.

_Bucky_

* * *

 

I’m at the vet’s office ten minutes early. It’s Sunday and the entire area is deserted. While I’m waiting, I take the opportunity to text Becca.

_Bucky:  Hey sis. Do I need to kick anyone’s ass?_

_Becs:  Haha. Maybe. :(_

_Bucky:  What’s going on?_

_Becs:  I think I need to get out. Josh keeps taking all the money. He spent the deposit for my last catering job and I had to use a credit card to fill the order._

_Bucky:  Asshole. Clint and I will be there, just say when._

_Becs:  Not ready yet, but prolly._

I grit my teeth. It’s not getting any better with her deadbeat husband. When you know a situation is going south, you get out. But I can’t force her to do anything. I know how my sister works.

_Bucky:  Open a secret account. Hoard cash._

_Becs:  Yeah, working on it._

_Bucky:  Is Jared okay?_

_Becs:  I think so. I’ll keep you posted. Please don’t do anything yet._

_Bucky: >.< _

_Becs:  Please._

_Bucky:  Fine. But the Barnes kids stick together._

_Becs:  I know. I need a little more time to figure everything out. I promise._

I sigh and try to let it go for now. Becca will come to me when she’s ready and then I can help her in whatever way I can.

According to my phone, Steve is three minutes late. Finally, his sedan rolls up next to my truck, our driver side windows facing. I roll my window down and lean out a bit.

“Are you ready to pick up your new family member?” He flashes a dazzling smile. I remember when he wore braces back in high school. I blink and bring myself back to the present. Don’t think about the past. Stay in the here and now. That’s what the shrink always told me. If it works for combat stress, it can work for this too.

“I bought him all this stuff and paid his vet bill, so I guess I am.” I try not to act too excited but like I said, there’s a little kid inside me who always wanted a dog and now he’s finally getting one.

He laughs at me. “Then let’s go get him.”

He looks good. Now that no one else is around, I can admire him shamelessly. He’s dressed for a lazy Sunday morning in a button-up shirt that’s tight in all the right places, sleeves rolled up, and khaki pants; he’s always been the more straight-laced preppy one. I look down at my tattoo sleeve, black v-neck t-shirt and jeans. I’m sharp, but it’s a completely different style; we’re different but I like that. I want to put my hands on him, feel him again, smell his skin, and breathe in everything that is Steve.

His eyes light up as he looks me over. It’s like we’re in a bubble where nobody else exists. The chemistry is palpable. How many times over the last ten years have I thought about this moment, wondering if I’d ever see him again and be able to call him mine? It feels surreal, except I need to stay on guard. Maybe he just wants to give me my dog and be done with me for good.

The vet office looks strange with nobody around. Steve flips the light switches and the fluorescents in the ceiling flicker on. It smells like cleaner and animals and he leads us into a room with little kennels that look like cubbyholes with doors.

He unlocks one on the end and there’s Trip. He gives a happy bark as Steve opens his door and scoops him up. His paw is wrapped up in a light bandage but he’s happy to see us.

“Hey buddy,” I say. I look at Steve. “Can I hold him?”

“Just be careful of his paw. Put him on the table here so I can look him over really quick.” Trip is warm and squirmy but he’s so trusting. This dog just seems to roll with whatever.

Steve checks him all over and then has him lie down. “Pet him and help hold him still while I check his foot.”

It’s really something else to see Steve in such a professional role. He knows exactly what he’s doing and it’s obvious that he’s done this a million times. The dog winces a bit but submits to the exam without much fuss.

“He’s healing already. Puppies are great that way.” He gently wraps a new bandage around the paw; I can feel Trip’s abdomen rising and falling as he breathes, his heart thumping strongly. He’s nervous but letting us take care of him.

“Good boy.” I pet his grimy fur, noticing that there’s still bits of dirt in it. “He’s still dirty.”

“Yeah, I’ll show you how to bathe him if you want.” Steve beams his bright-as-the-sun smile at me.

“I’m totally new to this so, yes please.” I hold Trip’s face in my hands, looking at him from every which way. He lets me move him around and looks into my eyes like I’m his new best friend. This little dog is already mine.

“The bandage has to stay on his paw for about a week. I’ll put an inflatable collar on him to keep him from chewing on the stitches.”

“A whole week?”

“Maybe five days, but don’t skimp. People take them off early and have to bring their pet back to treat for infection or have stitches re-sewn. Animals can’t resist touching wounds.” He wraps the inflated collar around his neck; it looks like a life preserver. Trip is trying to turn his head around every which way to get a better look at it.

“Okay, you’re the boss.” I gather Trip up in my arms. He snuggles up, wagging his tail as if to ask ‘Please don’t put me back in the cubby.’

“I thought I would show you how to give him a bath here, but…” He trails off, like he’s thinking better of what he was about to say.

“But what?” Trip squirms in my arms. He has puppy breath and his nose snuffles into my neck.

Steve turns a bright shade of pink. “It might be better if you learn how to do it where you’ll be doing it normally. At your house.”

Oh. That is definitely another step, inviting Steve back to my house. I look down and my shirt is dirty and covered in dog hair again. But fate sent me this dog and brought me back to Steve. I have to see where this goes.

“You’re right. I didn’t know I was getting a dog until yesterday. I haven’t had a chance to research or learn anything, so the help would be great.”

His eyes light up momentarily before he composes himself. “So should I follow you?”

“I live at my parents’ old house, you know where that is.”

He swallows. “Oh yeah. I do. Let me grab an extra set of scrubs in case he soaks me.”

I laugh easily. “That another good reason for me to do this at home.”

“I can help you get everything set up and help to acclimate him. It’s not hard but it helps to know what to do.”

He locks up the office and shows me how to put Trip in the travel kennel. I feel bad moving him from one cage to another but Steve assures me it’s for his own safety.

It feels strange having Steve follow me home. It’s something we would’ve done when we were teenagers. I can show him all the things I’ve done to the house. Glancing in the rear view mirror, I try not to think about all the things that might possibly happen.

Once at home, I get Trip out of the kennel and he’s happy to be held again. I love his soft squirmy body and the little barks he makes at me. I probably shouldn’t let him do that, so I’ll have to figure out how that kind of thing is trained for. “Can he run around? Should I put him down?”

“He needs to walk around a bit but you’re mostly going to have to carry him in and out of the house to go to the bathroom. You found him around here?”

“I think he came from there.” I point toward the neighbor’s house down the road. The ‘For Sale’ sign is already choked with overgrown lawn.

“Don’t let him run loose. If he’s had the run of the neighborhood then he could just take off while thinking that everything in a five-mile radius is his territory. Use the leash every time you take him out and he’ll get used to the perimeter you set for him. Take him out every hour or two at first to the same spot and he’ll get used to going in the same place and on your schedule.”

“So I guess you have dogs, I mean you always did.” I don’t want to pry but I can’t help myself. I want to know more about him and the time we’ve missed together.

“I have two but they live with my ex-wife and the twins.”

“Ex-wife? Twins?” I couldn’t help but ask, and look at him out of the corner of my eye.

He flushes pink again. “Yeah, after… After you left, I spent more time with Sharon, and…decided to give that a go. She ended up pregnant so we got married.”

“Sounds like a fairytale.” I try my best to keep the edge out of my voice but I guess I was hoping to hear something…different? I don’t really know what it was I was expecting to hear.

“Exactly. One of those unedited ones from the past that is too frightening to tell children about.” He laughs but there’s something off about his voice. “We had twins, a boy and a girl. They were the silver lining. It’s hard to say what I regret about it because now I have them in my life.”

I understand wanting a family, so it’s hard to begrudge him that. At least he’s done something about it.

“So you did what your dad wanted.” I feel like an asshole bringing his control-freak of a dad into it, but I have to say it.

“I tried.” He’s looking off into nowhere, his mouth twisted into a crooked line.

“And now?” I’m on a roll and I may as well ask him while I can. I just need to know if there’s a chance. I’m not ready to give up. I don’t really think I ever will be.

He manages to pull himself out of his trance and meets my gaze. “Now I don’t know. I’m tired of not being me.”

“And what’s you?”

He runs his hand up the back of his neck in his characteristic show of nervousness. “I don’t know. I want to find out. I just know I felt the most like me when we…”

I wait. I want to hear him say it but I know that he won’t. Not yet. “When we were together.”

“Yeah.”

“So now what?”

He moves his hand down and grabs his other arm. Even though he’s grown up so much, he looks incredibly vulnerable and my heart wants to jump out of my chest at the sight. “I don’t know. I’ve missed you. So much. Then one day you’re in my clinic and how can I let that go by?”

There’s so much hurt left over from before. But he’s right, and I don’t want to let this go by either. We watch Trip try to walk somewhat three-legged in my lawn. I think he’s happy being outside; he’s just sniffing and exploring, living in the moment.

“We can’t let it go by. But, for now, let’s give this dog a bath.” I scoop up Trip and put my hand on his shoulder as we walk inside. Two old friends; best friends. I don’t want to be anything fleeting or short-term for Steve again, but I can’t help myself. Being near him is like gravity and I can’t fight it.

“Look at this place, Buck!” Steve hasn’t been in this house in ten years. I guess it really does look completely different from back then.

“After mom died I took out all my excess energy and free time on the house.” I look around, seeing my house with fresh eyes. Everything is custom woodwork with personal touches all over. “Clients all want the same kinds of things so if I want to be creative or try something new then I do it here. There’s a lot of evenings and weekends in here.”

“Clients?” He takes Trip from my arms and unhooks his collar and leash.

“Clint, one of the guys from my Army unit, hooked me up with carpentry after he and I both got out. He has his general contractor’s license and figured it would be just the thing for me.” I look around, taking in the room again. “I guess he was right.”

“It’s beautiful.” Trip starts fidgeting, trying to work his way out of Steve’s arms. “Where is your bathtub?”

Steve shows me how to cover Trip’s paw with a plastic baggie so his bandage doesn’t get wet. He tolerates the tub okay but it helps that there are two of us leaning over and keeping him in, kneeling on towels.

My hands are big enough that I can practically hold Trip in one of them. Steve shows me how to wet him down and then lather up the puppy shampoo and massage it into his fur.

Our hands touch, fingers grazing each other and slipping in the soap and we wash the dog together. I freeze for a moment. It’s electric, charged with energy and expectations and possibility. Warmth spreads up my arms and through my body. He’s right next to me and all I can think about is his hands held in mine, his skin sliding against mine. My heart beats faster and I sneak a glance at him out of the corner of my eye. He’s focused on the work, but his cheeks have that high flush spreading over them. I can’t believe I’ve forgotten about that over the past ten years. His cheeks get so pink and the more flushed he gets the further it spreads up and over his ears and down onto his chest.

I rip my mind back to the present. Concentrate on the task at hand, Bucky. Trip is pretty funny looking in the tub with his fur all messed up and pointing every which way to Sunday. He’s doing his best to stay standing with two grown men scrubbing all over him but he also seems fairly content. I spray him off, being careful to keep the water out of his eyes and ears. He leans into the warm spray and tries licking it up. Steve says that retrievers are bred for water and enjoy swimming and being wet. Just keep up the baths and he’ll take to them like a champ.

Steve shows me how to slide down Trip’s fur, squeezing the water out, and then take him out and wrap him in a big towel. Keep him warm and keep drying him off until he’s mostly dry. After a few rounds with dry towels, we bundle him up and carry him to the couch; I’m carrying him like a baby. Steve gets the dog brush and sits down right next to me to show me how to brush him out while drying him. Trip is sleep and I remember being sleepy after baths when I was a kid. Now that I know how to clean him, he will fit right into my home.

Steve’s phone rings and he makes a face when he pulls it out and looks at the screen. “My neighbor is calling me. That’s odd, I should probably take this.”

“Go ahead.” I wave a hand at him like it’s no big deal. We’re just drying a dog, right?

“Hello?...What?...What do you mean…The whole thing?...Are you sure?...I’m coming over…Yes, right now. Did you see Widow?...I’m coming!” His face hangs slack jawed as he blurts out his replies. Once he hangs up, he looks at me, his eyes wild and confused.

He seems frozen in place as he speaks. “My apartment building burned down. I need to find my cat.”

Trip is dry and starting to doze in my lap, wrapped up in a new towel. He can go back in the kennel after I wipe it out. No problem.

Steve fumbles for his keys but it’s clear he’s not in the right state of mind.

“Steve, you are in no shape to drive. I’ll drive you.”

“No, Buck. You don’t have to.” He won’t even look at me when he speaks. It’s almost as though there’s no one home right now. “I hope my cat’s okay.”

I take his keys out of his limp hand. “Not happening. Trip can go in his kennel and we’ll go with you.”

“Okay.” He stands there, slightly swaying in place with his brow furrowed.

I snap the collar and leash back on the dog. “C’mon, Trip. We’re going on a field trip.”

I pick up the kennel and hand it to Steve. “Hold this.”

I’ve seen him have this kind of reaction before. He’ll be fine, he just needs me to tell him what to do until the initial shock wears off. He pick up the kennel and follows me out the door. I take Trip back to his spot in the yard, and he goes like a good boy. “Good job!” He wags his tail happily before I place him back in his kennel and put it by Steve in the truck.

“Your job is to keep track of Trip and tell me the way to your apartment.

“Okay.” Steve just stares straight ahead, his voice completely numb.

“What’s your job?” I’m not going to let him fade off on me. Need to keep him here.

“Tell you the way to Trip and keep track of my apartment.”

“Close enough.” I buckle him in and we head down the road.

It feels a bit wrong to be driving _towards_ a fire. The traffic becomes thicker as we get closer and eventually we reach a point where the road is blocked off. I tell one of the officers there who we are and that Steve lives there. He waves us through.

I park as close as I can and carry Trip in my arms, guiding Steve through the small crowd of onlookers. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s how to work my way through a crowd. A woman spots Steve and waves towards us. She’s an older woman, dressed like a cross between Cyndi Lauper and Madonna. She’s got some kind of long flowery sheer dress thing on, leggings, and a million rings and bracelets. She rushes over to us and grips Steve’s arm. “Oh Steven, it’s so horrible. Everything is gone!”

“Stella, is anybody hurt? Have you seen Widow?” Steve is searching over the crowd, craning his neck toward the smoldering building.

She’s just as out of it as he is but she’s the one babbling. “No, I don’t think so, but everyone got out okay. They think it started in Mrs. Snow’s apartment. She’s always leaving her stove on. I told her not to leave her stove on.”

“Did you see Widow? Did you see Widow get out?” Steve stares straight ahead, his eyes fixated on his smoke blackened apartment building, scanning.

“I didn’t but I just talked the nice man that lives below me who said that he did. She got away. My Millie got out too. She spooked before I realized what was going on. I should’ve followed her. Those cats sometimes leave for days, so they’ll be okay. Oh Steven, it was so scary!” She’s rubbing her hands on his chest but Steve doesn’t seem to register anything.

A few seconds later she looks up and notices me. Her eyes roam all over my chest, up and down my body and then she sees Trip. “Who’s this and who’s _this_???” She gestures at me and then crouches to croon at Trip.

“I’m Bucky, this is Trip.” She suddenly seems pretty with it for someone whose apartment building just burned down, but this is what shock looks like. People end up all over the place.

“Trip! Are you the cutest thing!” Trip is going crazy, wagging his tail and pushing his head into her hand. How am I supposed to hang in the background or look intimidating when I have this furry traitor greeting everyone?

“He’s really friendly.” I feel obligated to state the obvious, as though that’s supposed to help somehow.

“Bucky’s an old friend, I’m helping him with his dog.” Steve explains.

“Ah.” Stella gives me an appraising look and raises an eyebrow at Steve. “I’m Stella, Steven’s downstairs neighbor. Er…I was Steven’s downstairs neighbor. I taught him how to play Bunco.”

“She needed a partner.” Steve shrugs his shoulders as his cheeks turn pink. “It was no big deal.”

“Don’t be modest, he cleaned everyone out.” She turns to me. “He looks sweet and reserved, but he’s a ruthless winner. I always make sure he’s on my team.”

I appraise Steve. “Why do something if you aren’t going to do it right?”

His already pink cheeks turn a darker shade of red but he meets my eyes. “Indeed.”

Stella watches the exchange, back and forth. “So much makes sense now.” She claps Steve on the shoulder.

Steve looks almost frozen. He clears his throat before speaking. “What do we do now?”

“I don’t know, Steven. I don’t think the cats are going to show up again until all the chaos dies down. I guess we just stand here.”

“Yeah, we’re not. It was nice meeting you, Stella. Do you have Steve’s number?”

“I do, I’ll call if anything happens.”

“Thank you.” I steer Steve away and back towards my truck.

Reality hits Steve hard. “There’s too much damage, the building’s destroyed. What am I going to do? My apartment is gone.”

I’m holding Trip in one arm and guiding Steve with the other. I put my arm around his shoulder and he leans into me; he fits just right. It feels good to have him so close to me again.

Steve starts fraying, everything that’s happened hitting him hard. “I can’t stay with my parents, I just can’t. Sharon — that would just be weird. Nat doesn’t have room for me.”

“Nat, your nurse?” I frown, remembering long red hair and knowing smirks. She was pretty, for sure. A stab of jealousy runs through me.

“Yeah, we’re friends. She’s my plus one when I have to bring one.”

My chest compresses. This is going to be nothing but trough and I should bail now while I still can. This is going right down the same road it did last time.

My head says ‘no’ but my heart is doing the talking for me. “You can stay with me.”

Silence hangs in the air. Steve stops walking and freezes against me.

“Really?” He’s not looking at me, but I can feel the weight of the moment.

“Yeah, I have lots of room, a guest bedroom. It’s a big house for one person. Besides, I could use your help with Trip.” Sure, why not, right? What’s the big deal?

“I don’t know how long it’s going to be. I don’t know” Steve runs a hand through his hair.

“You need somewhere to stay, at least in the short term until you figure some stuff out. You’re supposed to show me how that clicker thing works with Trip.”

He visibly relaxes against me. “Okay.” He brings his hand up against my chest and I squeeze him with my arm. “Thanks Buck, you’re a good friend.”

I work my jaw in thought. “Don’t tell anyone. It ruins my image.” Back at the truck I find a patch of grass for Trip to sniff out.

“I think the puppy is already doing that.” He laughs at me.

“Shit, you’re right.” Trip looks up at me, his puppy face filled with a trusting smile. “I should have named him Killer.”

“Don’t worry, you’re still tough looking, but do you really want to be intimidating?”

“It keeps the drama away.” I scoop up the puppy and put him back in the truck. “He’s such a good boy.” Trip turns a small circle and lies down, his brown nose pointing toward the door.

“It’s the breed. So is that what you want?”

“What? A good dog?”

“No, everyone to stay away. No drama.”

“It works. Is your life how you want?”

“My apartment just burned down, so I’m going to say no.”

I was trying to be funny but now I feel like an insensitive dick. “Sorry, Steve.”

“Meh, it’s okay. There wasn’t anything in there that mattered. I’d barely moved in. I didn’t have the heart to set up house. Except…Oh no. The dollhouse and fort.”

“Dollhouse? Fort?”

“Yeah, I got them for the twins last Christmas. They’re both wooden and handmade to fit Wanda’s dolls and Pietro’s GI Joes. They’re going to be so sad.”

“I’m sure they’ll be glad their dad is okay. You can replace their toys, that’s the easy part.”

“Maybe easy for you.”

“Exactly. I’ll make them new ones, that sounds fun.”

“Okay, we’ll talk about that later.” He leans his head against the door frame and stares out the window as we drive back to my house.

Yesterday, I ran into my long-lost best friend and first love.

Today, he’s moving into my house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, questions, concerns, kudos; all are welcome and encouraged. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky get back home and there's a few more lessons on puppy care. Steve begins to process what's happened over the past couple days and Bucky is as understanding as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is a bit shorter this time but the next one will be up in a day or two.

_ Steve _

* * *

 

My apartment burned down. Everything’s gone except for all my sentimental stuff, which is either at Sharon’s or my parent’s house still. The only important things were the twins’ toys.

“We need to go to my office so I can get my toothbrush.”

“I have extra stuff like that at my house.” Bucky always seems to have it under control. Maybe it’s military experience. He’s always been like that though, prepared, organized, in order.

Why does he have extra stuff like that at his house? I want to ask him but before I can, he says, “I like to be prepared. Sometimes Becca and her kid stay over at my place.”

Oh. My mind is overloaded. Too much has happened for it to process and my mind is forcing itself to fill in the blanks.

“You brought those extra scrubs, so we can wash your other clothes tonight. Tomorrow you can go get new things to wear. I have a full guest room. I’ll take care of dinner so you don’t have anything to worry about right now.”

I feel a little shiver. He’s so protective of me and sure of himself. He’s always been like that, moving through life with a purpose, afraid of nothing. Smart aleck and sardonic. So not like me, the kid who never left his hometown and who still buckles under to what his dad expects of him despite being nearly 30.

I look at the intricate tattoo running down his left arm. It’s detailed and colored, it makes his entire arm and hand look like they’re covered in some kind of mechanical overlay, like his arm is almost artificial. I’m dying to see how far it goes under his shirt. I got a glimpse yesterday when he stripped it off in the parking lot before he left the clinic, but only a glimpse. I know there’s so much more I want to see.

He’s so defined and huge. The size and the muscle and the tattoo and the precision and decisiveness he has, all those things are in one person. Despite myself, I feel a flush creeping through me to my core. I thought he was sexy when we were nineteen, but ten years later and he’s like a Greek god.

Back at home, Trip is excited to get out of the truck.

“Do I have to have that thing in the house?” Bucky indicates the dog crate.

I look around and realize everything is spotless and nothing is out of place. “I know it’s ugly but it’s important that he be able to sleep in it when he’s young; it’s like his den. You can’t have a puppy wandering around the house in the middle of the night. Unless you want to have to messes to clean up?”

He puts his hands up. “Alright. But it’s so damn ugly. Can I build him one?”

“You can, but he’s going to grow and need a bigger one later.”

“I could just make him a bigger one now. Problem solved.”

“He’ll go to the bathroom in it if you do that. It can’t be too much larger than he is.”

“Fine, know it all.” He’s glaring at me but there’s a twinkle in his eye.

“You wanted my knowledge with dog.” I feel all huffy and defensive.

“You’re still easy to tease.” Bucky’s stone-faced. Dammit. He gets me every time. I shrug my shoulders and sit on the floor against the couch. Trip is sleepy and I pull him onto my lap and feel his snoring body. Puppies always help make bad things a little better.

Bucky makes dinner and I stare off into nothing. Bucky’s house is perfect. I wonder if he got help putting it together. It doesn’t look like a woman lives here, but everything is well organized and gorgeous. Microfiber couch, wood floors, high quality rugs. The fireplace looks functional and there’s art on the shining wood walls.

“Did you decorate the house yourself?” I call to Bucky in the kitchen. Trip stirs slightly, disrupted by my loud voice. Oops. I pet him gently, soothing him back to sleep.

“I had an idea of what I wanted but I used some of those interior design magazines to come up with a lot of it.”

We lapse back into silence. Something about the fire and losing my apartment has taken the words right out of me. Bucky doesn’t seem to mind. We eat dinner together, just exchanging pleasantries.

After dinner we clean up and sit on the back porch with bottles of beer. The alcohol helps me relax a bit while listening to the breeze. I can smell the grass in the yard and that fresh bark dust smell from the pine trees.

I’m tired of thinking about my problems. “Tell me about you. What have you been doing the past ten years?”

Bucky takes a swig of his beer before answering. “As you know, I didn’t go back to school after the first year of college. I joined the Army, did a tour in Iraq and then two shorter tours in Afghanistan.”

I try to imagine what that must have been like, Bucky somewhere in the Middle East while I was stuck classroom learning microbiology.

He continues. “After six years of that I decided that I’d done enough. Clint got me hooked up with a carpenter. Turns out that I’m really good at it, so I worked with him and then got my master carpenter’s certification. Now I build fancy kitchens for people.” He laughs slightly. “I do more than kitchens but that’s my bread-and-butter it seems.”

“If they look anything like your kitchen then I can understand how you’re doing so well.”

“Thanks. Remodeling this house is how I spent nights and weekends after mom died.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Thanks, yeah she was ready to go at the end. She was done with cancer.” He takes another swig of his beer.

“So you got the house?”

“I bought my sisters out. Becca already had a place with her husband and Nikki couldn’t afford it and needed the money. I wasn’t ready to sell it. It’s probably weird to move into the house you grew up in but it kinda makes me feel closer to family. I don’t know.”

“Now you have Trip here with you. He’ll be good company.”

“Company is good. Sorry your place burned down but I’m glad for your help. I don’t know what the hell to do with a puppy.”

“It’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it.” The beer’s making me feel smooth. Everything is bathed in gold and my emotions are close to the surface. I don’t want to end up saying anything I’ll regret, so I don’t say anything else at all.

It gets darker and we finish our drinks. Bucky shows me my bedroom and bathroom. He gives me fresh towels and a new toothbrush. He’s right, he’s ready for guests. I just need some new clothes, which I can get tomorrow.

Bucky is carrying Trip. Those two have become fast friends. “What do I do with him?”

“He needs to sleep in his crate, just like during the day.”

Bucky looks dubious, like he doesn’t want to put his dog back in a cage. Damn, he’s such a softie.

“I promise it’s for his good. You can take the crate into your room so he’s near you. You’ll have to take him out at least once in the middle of the night so you don’t end up with a mess to clean and a sad puppy. Just take him out right before you go to bed and he should be good for three or four hours.

The pressure of the day is getting to me and the exhaustion is creeping in. Whatever is or isn’t going on with us is more than I can deal with at the moment. I just need sleep. “Good night, Buck. Thanks for taking me in.”

I reach to shake his hand but in the end, I can’t help myself. I pull him in for a hug. He’s stiff at first but he lets me wrap my arms around him. He’s enormous now, his muscles thick slabs of hard strength. He smells like clean laundry, soap and a spicy undertone that I think is just his skin. I breathe in his scent as deeply as I can without it being noticeable. Memories. I bathe in the moment, but only for just that moment.

He relaxes and then his arms are around me. “Welcome home, Stevie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, kudos, the more the merrier. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has to take off for work, there's discussion of Hello Kitty mugs and coffee, Bucky builds something for the puppy and then spends some time remembering what happened _after_ the hot tub incident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you guys. It's pretty much all fluffy so hope you enjoy! :)

_Bucky_

* * *

 

Yesterday, when I woke up I was the only person living in this house. Today there are three of us if you count the dog, and of course I count the dog. It’s weird how quickly things can change. One moment there’s nothing happening, and then all of the sudden everything is completely different.

Trip went out with me in the middle of the night like a champ. It’s probably me justifying keeping him, but it seems he was meant to be my dog. He showed up in my kitchen right when I was feeling sorry for myself about being alone for Saturday morning breakfast.

He’s really good company. He curls up on the floor by my feet, snoozing and using his little inflatable collar as a pillow. It’s much better than the cone of shame, those seem like they would be nothing but a hassle.

I’ve been up for hours, and I’ve already worked out and taken a shower. I forgot that Steve wasn’t a morning person. He just needs to get through this rough patch and back on a schedule and the will be, I’m sure of it. It’s nice to enjoy all the long quiet hours of the morning as I drink my coffee at the kitchen table with my faithful dog at my side.

The shower in the guest bathroom turns on. It wasn’t just a dream or a Sunday night movie that my mind has confused with reality. Steve Rogers slept in my house and is taking a shower down the hall.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Probably both. I’m hurtling toward some kind of inevitability.

Finally, Steve comes out of his room, freshly showered and wearing his clean scrubs. I never thought of scrubs as sexy, but they kind of are. _Especially_ on Steve. He’s good at his job and it took a lot of schooling to get to where he is. Scrubs are his uniform and it shows his competence and type of work. Being really good at something is always sexy to me.

“Morning, sunshine.” I hold my coffee mug up in salute.

He’s flustered as he looks around the kitchen and dining room. “I’m running late. I wish I could stay and drink coffee with you.” He stops for a moment and looks longingly at the coffee pot.

I stand and rummage through the cupboard. “I can send you with a to-go mug. You like Hello Kitty, don’t you?” I hold up a white travel mug covered in pink polka dots and a white cartoon cat with a bow. Nikki left it here on her last visit and hasn’t picked it back up.

Steve looks at me with bewilderment, his being rushed and the general lack of morning orientation killing the joke. I imagine him walking into work with a Hello Kitty coffee mug and I can’t control my grin. I’d do it, for sure, but I like throwing people off.

I throw my head back and laugh, holding on to the cupboard door. “I’m just teasing you, Steve. I have a regular mug for you.” The look of relief on his face makes me grin even harder. It’s like when I’m with him, I’m completely comfortable. I’m just like I was when we were kids.

He shakes his head and laughs. “You are just the same!”

“In some ways, yes.” I pour coffee into a black and silver travel mug. “In other ways, no.” I hold out the mug for him, my laugh now a general feeling of warmth and happiness.

He gives me a look of amusement and takes the coffee. Our fingers touch and the energy crackles between us again. Not only is our friendship intact, but so is our chemistry. “You’re a lifesaver, Buck. Thanks for this.” He holds up the coffee in a mock salute and is out the door.

“Looks like it’s just you and me, Trip.” He trots back from where he followed Steve to the door and looks at me expectantly. I give him a ruffle on his soft head and he lies down to watch me clean the kitchen.

After that’s done I take him outside for another break. Today we’re going to work out in the shop. I grab the crate in one hand and him in the other and carry him to work with me.

We don’t have to go all that far. ‘Work’ is a big shed in the back corner of the property. I converted it into a workshop while I was remodeling the house. It’s pretty sweet; I don’t have to pay for industrial space anywhere and my morning commute can’t be beat.

I spent some time on Google this morning, so I’m clear on the job ahead of me. Trip settles into his crate and watches intently as I work. I love the satisfying vibration of wood in the saw and the high-pitched whine it makes when it passes over the blade. Sweet smelling sawdust piles up underneath the table, and by lunchtime I have a doggie playpen for Trip. This one is for the shop though. Next I’ll build some gates and fences for inside the house.

Trip and I go back inside for lunch and I call Becca. She picks up on the first right.

“Bucky.” I can hear the resignation in her voice. She knows I’m harassing her but that’s my job as her protective older brother. “How’s it going?”

“Hey Becca, pretty good.” I look down at Trip who cocks his head to the side in curiosity. “I got a puppy.”

Becca laughs. “No way! Like out of the blue?”

I put my feet up while drinking some water. “Yeah, he showed up in my kitchen. Stole my Saturday breakfast!”

“You have to text me a picture. Jared would love to see.” Her voice trails off at the end.

“How about you and Jared just come up?” I pause. We both know why I called and I might as well get to the point now. “Has anything gotten better?”

She sighs deeply. “No, it’s gotten worse. I’ll make a getaway. I just need to plan it.”

“Like hell you do, Clint and I will come get you.”

“What about my business?”

“People need catering here too. You come here and you won’t have him dragging  you down. It’s hard to have a business when someone keeps dipping in the till.” It’s a low blow, but it’s true. Her deadbeat husband’s constant thievery has wrecked her chances of success there. It’s time for her to make a move. I wait a beat and when she doesn’t respond, I decide to push the issue a bit further. “Let me tell Clint, so we can be ready to come get you.”

She huffs into the phone. “Fiiiiine.”

I smile and reach down to pet Trip’s happy little head. “If things get really bad, you’ll call me, right?”

“I promise I will, Buck.”

“We need to get you out of there before I have to kick Josh’s ass. You wouldn’t want your brother in jail, would you?”

“No, I wouldn’t and you won’t have to. I’ll let you know when Jared and I are packed and ready to go.” She says this with purpose, finally. “So enough about me. You got a new puppy, anything else new.”

I hesitate, wondering if I should tell her. “Yeah, remember Steve Rogers?”

“Of course I do…”

“When the puppy showed up in my kitchen, I ended up taking him to the vet. Steve is the vet.”

“Oh my gawd, awkward much?”

I laugh. “Yeah, kind of! But also like old times too.” I hear my voice get soft; I can’t control it.

“Bucky.” Her tone is warning.

Now it’s my turn to sigh into the phone. “I know. I’m not going to do anything stupid this time.”

“Really? Like run away and join the Army?” Wow, my sister can really dish it out as well as she can take it.

“Hey, that wasn’t a stupid idea!” If I had to endure everything I did, I wasn’t going to tarnish that experience by labeling it as stupid. It was hard, it was scary, and it was life changing. But it wasn’t stupid.

“I know it wasn’t. I’m just selfish and I missed you and I was worried about you!”

“Fair enough. I can’t begrudge you that. I missed you too.” I cough to clear my throat. “Don’t make me get extra cheesy.”

“Speaking of cheesy, are you going to see him again? Is he still…” Her voice trails off. I know she wants to say ‘in the closet,’ but doesn’t know if she should.

I pinch my temple with my free hand. “I don’t know. He mentioned a girl named Natasha. He said she’s a friend who is always his plus one when he needs one.”

“Well that answers that.”

“Does it? It’s not black and white, Becs. Not everybody wants to wear rainbow tights. _I_ don’t wear rainbow tights.” I can hear the defensiveness in my voice.

“I know, I just care about you and don’t want you to get hurt.” She says it softly, so I know she isn’t just trying to give me a hard time about it.

I decide to forge ahead and just the the rest out in one breath. “His apartment burned down and so now he’s living with me.”

“Bucky!” She’s practically shrieking into the phone. I have to hold it away from my ear to recover from the volume and shrill sound.

My heart is pounding for admitting that, but then I remember who I’m talking to. “Becca, are you judging my taste in men?”

“Ugh, fine. Good point.” She laughs softly.

“It’s no big deal. He needs somewhere to stay and I’m getting free dog training out of it. We’re just catching up, that’s all.” The way I say it, I almost believe it myself.

But Becca doesn’t buy it and gets right to the core. “So what’s the chemistry like between you two?”

“That’s the thing, it’s so easy. He was my best friend for a reason. We get along like peanut butter and ladies.” I chuckle, I always found that joke funny plus it can deflect her question.

She laughs at me again. “You should stop saying that. No one remembers Talladega Nights! They’ll just think there’s something wrong with you.”

“Oh gee, thanks! I can always count on my sister to be sweet to me.”

“That’s what I’m here for! Oh, hey, I’ve got to run and get some stuff done before I pick Jared up from school.”

“Okay, I’ll let you go then. But Becca?” My tone turns serious on her.

“Yeah?”

“This isn’t over.” I practically growl the words into my phone.

“It sure doesn’t sound like it if he’s already moved into your house.” I can practically hear her triumphant smirk at that comment.

“I’m talking about getting you out of there.”

“I know, okay? Love you, Bucky.”

“Love you too, sis.”

I hang up and shake my head. Becca is a firecracker. She may be small but she’s got spirit. But, she can’t give me advice on my love life until she gets hers straightened out first.

Trip and I hit the road since I have a consult to get to. It’s with another contractor and he has a shop dog that he takes everywhere, so bringing Trip with me won’t be a problem.

While we roll down the road, my mind wanders back to the past. Talking to Becca about it makes the whole thing even more vivid and real. Sometimes I convinced myself my memories were just a dream. If I didn’t talk or think about them, then they couldn’t affect me.

But they were real, more than real, and having Steve here is bringing it all back in vivid detail. It was such an easy and ideal beginning. I let myself slip back into the past as we travel down a little country road outside the city lined with huge trees and horse properties. The shadows of the trees are so large they reach the inside of the truck, alternating the cab interior between bright sunlight and shadow. This road hasn’t changed over time, except the trees are bigger.

_The morning after the hot tub, I have to leave early for a construction job. The hum of the night before stays with me and leaves me in a bit of a haze. The glow of wonder and discovery is changing how I look at everything and how I feel about everything else._

_For the rest of the week, every time I touch myself I think of Steve. The only thing that gets me there is the memory of him lifting himself out of the water, the backyard light shining off of his smooth skin. His beautiful cock dripping wet and stiff, swaying with his hips. The heat of his legs and hips next to mine in the water. The vibration going through his body as he strokes himself harder and harder. The sight and sound of him cumming, hitting that peak of pleasure right next to me. Even remembering the sound of the bubbles and the chlorine in the hot tub turns me on._

_I see Steve in our Art History class and we’re just as good as ever, nothing weird between us. He has a glint in his eye too and I can feel him looking at me. I look at him too, a_ lot _. I brush my arm against his in class and the electricity moves between us. It’s like a game, our own secret language; how much can we touch each other without anyone else noticing?_

_By that Friday when I spend the night, we are both ready for more. We don’t even bother with the hot tub. We go straight into his room and he locks the door. We’ve spent so much time together for so many years, no one thinks anything of us locking ourselves away for the rest of the night. He lies down on his bed and scoots over, patting the space next to him. “Come lie by me.”_

_I’m so read and already throbbing. I lie next to him and he turns to me, propping his head up on his hand. “I can’t stop thinking about last weekend.” His bulge is pressing against the side of my leg._

_“Me neither. It was so hot.” A thrill run through me because he’s pushing this forward. I have no idea what’s next. This is all so new to me and I have no idea what he has in mind._

_“I think I like you, Buck.” He forces out the words while looking downward, his face going bright red. “I mean_ like _, like you.”_

_I know what he means. I can’t believe my quiet Steve has the balls to say this and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to say it back until he went and said it first. I’ve been wanting to say it too and he just made it so easy for me, my Steve. “I like you too.” I wiggle closer to him so he can feel what I mean as I press back into him._

_His eyes widen and darken and then fall into a lusty trance. His eyes are hooded already, and now they are even deeper under half lids. He bites his lower lip. “I don’t know what to do next.”_

_“I don’t either.” I had to admit it. “Let’s just see what happens. In here with the door closed, there are no rules.” I decide to go for it and I lean in to kiss him on the lips. He’s surprise for a short moment but then he returns my kiss, enthusiastically._

_It’s different kissing a guy. His lips are bigger, his tongue is larger and stronger, his face has the bare hint of soft, blonde stubble on it. My cock throbs with excitement, pushing against him when I realize that he’s pushing back. I reach down and I want to feel him, to touch him. I fumble with the front of his pants and zipper but he holds still and lets me. I swear I can hear his heart pounding, or maybe that’s my heart pounding. I slide my hand down the front of his opened pants and feel his hard cock wedged in sideways. I wrap my fingers around the rock hard velvety soft shaft and he moans. “Shhh…” I remind him to be quiet._

_He moans again, this time softer. This makes me laugh slightly but it’s cut off when he begins to open my own zipper. Next thing I know we’re both holding each other’s cocks, stroking and touching. We shimmy our pants halfway down our legs as we’re doing this one small step at a time. We’re chest to chest, cock to cock. I grab our cocks in one hand and jack them together. Steve wraps his arms around my shoulders and rocks his hips but he’s starting to make too much noise. I kiss him to keep him quiet, trading moans into one another’s mouths. We should really play some music in here or something._

_I can’t believe this is happening, I’m so turned on and trying not to cum too fast. Steve is so beautiful, I realize. And it hits me:  I love him. He’s my best friend and everything about his moment just feels so_ right _. There is nobody else for me. He’s so different from me, but we go together all the same, yin and yang. Bucky and Steve. Beads of perspiration form all over Steve, it’s so sexy. I want to lick it all off while he runs his hands over me. I’m sweaty too but I catch his eye and he grins at me, a huge happy smile._

_I have his cock in my hand, nestled against mine, and I start to pick up the pace. I need it, I need him. The head building inside me flows, bubbles, and builds until finally my balls tighten and everything rushed into a huge fireworks display of throbbing, spasming ecstasy. Steve covers his mouth with his hand as he’s moaning and panting before he ends up cumming right after me. When he’s finished unloading, there’s cum everywhere, all over our stomachs, arms, and even up to our necks. I reach down and rub it into our skin, mixing it together in a show of intimacy, bonding us together. I pull him tight against my body and he clings to me. We’ve never been so close. I kiss him all over his head, down his ear and his neck. He smells like musk and sweat and sandalwood and cum and I’ve never smelled anything better. He smells perfect._

_We lie there, smiling at each other, giddy with our discovery and our new secret together. We end up kicking off our pants and sleeping together the rest of the night, wrapped up together like we were always meant to be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Comments? Kudos? BRING IT!!! (I'm military, I can handle whatever you dish out lol)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets new clothes, Bucky gets an impromptu fashion show, and then things happen...

_Steve_

* * *

 

I’m starving. I spent my entire lunch hour and then some buying clothes. I’m usually pretty picky about what I wear but I took a gamble and put myself in the hands of the salesgirl at the store. It was Operation BUY CLOTHING. Get in and get out.

Every time I tried something on or saw something that caught my eye, I wondered if Bucky would like it. Then I would curse myself for being ridiculous. Bucky’s not going to give me a second chance and even if he would, could I take it? I’m twenty-nine years old and I’m still bowing to the wishes of my overbearing dad.

I pull into the driveway and haul my mall shopping bags to the door in my arms. I probably look like one of those cheesy shopping spree montage moments. Bucky greets me at the door and takes some of the bags from me. “Hey, you got clothes! Awesome.” He raises his eyebrows as I hand him bag after bag.

I follow him inside and my stomach growls. The house smells positively edible so must mean Bucky is cooking. Is there anything this man can’t do?

“So I guess you like Quicksilver and PacSun?” Bucky sets the bags down on the couch and I follow suit. He strokes his fingers on his chin as he steps back and regards my mountain of purchases.

I’m blushing. Why am I blushing? “I didn’t have a lot of time. It’s not all surf brands.” I point out a couple bags with other logos from Nordstrom and J.Crew.

“Fair enough.” Bucky has never been the type to argue about clothes. “You want wine?”

“Sure, it’s a Monday night, so why not?”

Bucky laughs and the sound cuts me right to the core. “It goes with dinner, punk.” He pours me a glass and I sink into an armchair and wait

Bucky is back in the kitchen and things are sizzling. I can smell red meat and it’s making my stomach contract in on itself. Drinking wine on an empty stomach might make this evening more interesting, but I try not to give it any thought.

I’m impatient and take a sip from my glass. The wine is red; it’s spicy, berry, tangy, with an explosive start and smooth finish.

“This wine is good.” I try to hide my surprise, considering that I didn’t know Bucky had become a connoisseur of wine.

“I think so. Why drink shitty wine when you can drink good wine?” He lifts his glass to me in a salute before taking a sip.

“I guess some people can’t tell the difference.”

“I think people who can’t tell the difference have never had something great. They don’t have anything to compare it to."

Staring down into my drink, I swirl it around the sides of the glass. Not everybody gets the chance to experience something great. I had something, some _one_ , great once. Will I get that chance again?

Bucky moves expertly around the kitchen. The food all smells amazing and I’m starting to go faint from hunger. “Since when did you learn to cook like that?”

“Ten years is a long time to learn a lot of things.” He lifts his shoulders in a half shrug.

We drink a bit more with dinner. I eventually occurs to me that Bucky is trying to help me relax with everything that’s going on.

“Anything interesting happen today besides buying out the mall?”

“I went looking for my cat. No luck yet.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it’s okay though. I only had a minute to look. She leaves for days at a time so I’m sure she’s fine.”

Bucky laughs in response. “There’s probably some family out there that thinks she’s their cat and wonders where she is when she stays with you.”

“Yeah, that’s probably true.” I feel content. My stomach is finally appeased and I’m relaxed from the wine. I look into Bucky’s storm-gray eyes, my inhibitions lowered enough to let myself keep looking longer than I should.

He meets my gaze, his eyes dark in the half-lit dining room. “You know what you should do?”

I swallow. “What’s that?” I manage to croak out.

“You should give me a fashion show of all the clothes you bought. You need an opinion of someone besides the sales clerks. You know, before you take the tags off.” Bucky takes another sip of his drink and rubs his lips together, waiting for my reply.

My heart pounds in my chest. This idea has all kinds of possibilities hidden behind it. “That’s true, they just want to sell me stuff, right? I can’t just go with their word since they have ulterior motives.”

Bucky grins. “Exactly, it’ll be fun.”

“And what I do get for putting on this show?” The wine is making me a lot bolder than I would be otherwise.

Bucky shrugs. “I dunno, free room and board? Oh, wait…” His mouth turns up in a completely smart-assed smirk.

I’m half relieved and half disappointed in his answer. I don’t know what I wanted him to say; I’m just making all of this up as I go.

After dinner, Bucky won’t let me help clean up and shoos me out of the kitchen. “You are still my house guest remember? Besides, you need to go get ready for your show.”

Looks like he’s holding me to it. “Okay. I hope you’re not expecting anything amazing or exciting.”

“Why wouldn’t it be exciting?”

“I’m a repressed veterinarian, Buck. Not much exciting here.” I wave my hand up and down my body to illustrate.

Bucky chuckles and manages to choke a bit on his wine. “I guess everybody has to be something.”

“Oh yeah? What are you then?”

Bucky stops laughing, squares his shoulders and looks at me straight on. “I’m a sexy, gay carpenter.” He raises his eyebrows and waits for me to reply.

This is news to me, but I swallow hard and try to play it cool. “See, we’re like two career coloring book characters, or new members of the Village People.”

Bucky starts laughing again. “Yeah, I don’t need to wear a t-shirt for it. I’m cool. I know who and what I am.”

“I like that.” I swirl the last bit of wine around in my glass, wishing I had something better to say.

“So about that fashion show…”

Guess Bucky is really holding me to it. “Alright. I hear veterinarian fashion is all the rage these days.”

He turns back to the dishes and I scurry off to the guest bedroom.

My nerves buzz on high alert. Should I take a shower? Would that be weird? Do I need to take one? I pace around the room and look at myself in the mirror. Get it together, Steve. Whatever happens, happens.

Sorting everything out over the bed, I concoct a few combinations. My fingers are shaking as I strip and dress in the most conservative items I have.

Bucky is lounging on the couch with Trip curled up between his feet and his glass of wine in hand.

“My clothes are boring,” I say through the crack in the door.

“I’m not judging how exciting they are. We’re just trying to decide if you should keep everything.”

Oh yeah. Then why am I so nervous? Why am I shaking and why are my hands clammy?

My first walk out: faded jeans, a logo tee, thin blue zip-up hoodie, my glasses, red Converse, and a vintage Brooklyn Dodgers ballcap (thank God for Ebay!). I pretend to strut like I’m on a runway as I come into the living room. “We need music!”

“I’m on it.” Bucky fiddles with his phone and suddenly the room is full of music. He motions toward me, beckoning me closer. “Let’s see it.”

I walk, stop and stand in front of him before turning a circle. “What do you think?” I try not to feel silly doing this.

“The first rule of going on the run is ‘don’t run, walk.’” He’s smirking as he finishes.

“Where did that come from?”

“No idea. Just popped into my head. Probably some comic book reference.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I like it though. Where did you learn to dress like that?”

I’m blushing again because Lord knows I don’t actually know how to dress myself. “Nat suggested it one time. Said I’d be able to pull it off.”

“Smart woman.” His tone is steady, but the look on his face changes when he says that, like it somehow hurts to acknowledge her in front of me.

“So, is it good enough to keep?” I point at myself up and down.

“I’d say keep it all. You can mix and match most of that and still look respectable.” Bucky is smiling at me slightly, but I can’t read his expression.

“Maybe I don’t want to be too respectable.”

“Let’s see what lest you’ve got. Put all that in the ‘keep’ pile.”

I change into my next outfit:  black slacks, brown loafers, a simple belt, and a dark blue button down with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows. Out, walk, turn, pose. I give him a duck face and he cracks up.

“This was a risk. I’m not usually big on dressing up.”

“Uh huh, if you say so Steve.”

I roll my eyes at him. “So, do you like it or not?”

“It’s nice. You have anything less fancy?”

“You mean like black henleys and black t-shirts?” I give his shirt a pointed look. “Do you own any other kind of shirt?”

A slow grin spreads across his face. “I don’t need fancy shirts. I have a fancy arm and 19” guns.” He holds his arms out and flexes them up into a double-bicep pose. I swallow and feel the heat pool in my stomach. He must notice my reaction because he follows up with, “You should see the rest of me.”

“I’d like that.”

“Maybe after your fashion show I’ll give you one of me.” His lids are heavy and he gives me the sexiest smile.

I swallow hard. “I’d better get on with it then.”

As I change again, I have to stuff my lengthening cock into my pants. Should I hide it or flaunt it?

I’m down to another set of jeans that don’t leave much to the imagination. I had to rely on the salesman at the store for this pick but he seemed to know his stuff and I think they look pretty good. I decide to pair it with the one item I snagged from Hot Topic:  a solid black fitted t-shirt with Superman’s red ‘S’ on the front.

I’m a bundle of nerves as I exit the bedroom and make the walk out in front of him. He’s lounged out like royalty enjoying the night’s entertainment.

His eyes widen and I see him stare as his gaze travels the length of my body. I make sure to do an extra hip pop at the end of my strut. My heart is pounding in my chest and I’m having trouble controlling my breathing.

“Good God. I need to see you closer,” Bucky murmurs, putting down his glass and shifting forward on the couch.

“You did promise to show me the rest of… you.” I hang back and wait, I want to see this.

“Fair enough.” He pulls his shirt off over his head and I’m completely entranced. The mechanical tattoo on his left arm goes all the way up over his shoulder to finish halfway across the left side of his chest. He’s absolutely gorgeous. His arms are like thick pythons; his shoulders like thick, round rocks. Corded muscle defines his abdomen, the sides tapering to his hips sliced diagonally with defining cuts in his muscles. He’s _really_ developed over the past ten years.

I’m speechless and throbbing and just stands there grinning at me. “You like?”

All I can do is nod in response.

“Come closer.” He’s sitting on the edge of the couch, legs open in a masculine stance, his hands reaching for me.

My heart is pounding. This is like a dream, the dream I’ve had every night for the last decade. I put my hands in his and our fingers thread together. He tugs on me slightly and I move forward into his lap so I’m straddling him.

I’m throbbing in my jeans, my cock straining against the fabric. He runs his hands up and down my body. His large, rough fingers trail up and down my shoulders, arms, and chest as he slide his palms around my hips and squeeze my ass.

I put my hands on his shoulders, at first tentative and then in a firm grip. He feels so good, better than I ever remember. His skin is hot and smooth. Someone put all this ink down his left side and had to touch every inch of skin there. I want to touch every inch of skin on every part of his body, over and over again.

“Do you want this?” He breaks his steady gaze and points the question right at my core.

I nod.

“No regrets in the morning?”

“No regrets in the morning.” I can barely whisper my answer. This is really happening. With that promise, I am not allowed to go back into regret. I can enjoy this. I can just be with him.

He pulls me closer and I feel his bulge pressing against mine. He grinds himself against me and it feels so amazingly good.

“I missed you.” He hold my face with his hands, gazing up into my eyes.

I feel my mouth twist into a sad sort of smile, the emotions of a decade welling up inside me. “I missed you too.”

He pulls me closer and presses his lips to mine. The world changes, everything is different and everything is suddenly right. I’m flying and I’m happy. I inhale deeply, drawing in every scent that makes up the man in front of me. He smells like wine and spices and musk and sawdust and… he smells like my Bucky. I kiss him back, pushing, seeking, and giving. It’s my Bucky, finally my Bucky again. His lips part mine and I taste his tongue on mine. Fire suddenly flares through me and I want more; I need more.

Bucky runs his hands down my chest and lifts the hem of my shirt. I lift my arms up for him and he pulls it off swiftly before carefully setting it aside. My meticulous Bucky, taking care of me and my new clothes. My heart surges with love for him, for all his idiosyncrasies, all the ways he’s different from me and all the ways he’s my best friend.

My reverie is interrupted and I’m right back in the here and now. Bucky turns back to me and runs his enormous hands up my stomach, his palms tracing the planes and dips of muscle that make up my body. He stops on my chest and pinches my nipples. I’m undone now, and he knows exactly how to get to me. I moan and rock my hips back and forth as he pinches and rolls my nipples, each sensation shooting into me and up and down my spine like an injection of pure lightning.

Bucky slides his fingers in the front of my waistband. His fingers against my skin, right there, swirl the fire inside me even higher. He releases the button and slides the zipper down. He’s so close to me, my thighs clench around his legs in anticipation.

“Shhhh…” Bucky strokes me from my shoulders down to my hands, calming me. I’m dizzy from excitement. Bucky always kept me grounded, kept me calm. He’s my Bucky.

He brings his legs together so I can stand and he works my pants down, first one side then the other. Finally I am free, naked. Bucky smiles up at me with his mischief-making grin and bites his bottom lip as he leans forward and takes my manhood into his hand.

I can’t stop the gasp as I throw my head back. Bucky strokes em in a measure beat, his other hand slides under and caresses between my legs, my balls, around and up onto to my stomach. The feeling is excruciatingly erotic; he knows just how to touch me.

He scoots forward and licks my tip, dripping with precum. I groan and my legs are practically shaking now. I know what is next and my mind is dizzy at the idea of it. He opens his mouth and takes me in, hit hot wet mouth surrounding me. His tongue slides up and down my shaft, caressing the ridge at the head. He’s sucking my dick, expertly, just like we always used to do. I’m so wound up but I don’t want to cum too quickly. I try to hold back, pushing against how amazingly good this feels.

Bucky is relentless. The energy swirls and grows inside me, increasing in intensity with every passing moment. “Bucky! Bucky!” I gasp. I can’t stop it, it’s a tidal wave, an explosion. My balls clench against my body and my cock lurches, pleasure running up and down my body until ti reaches a single point and then I’m gone.

Everything is white, everything is on fire. Waves shake through me and I grip Bucky’s head, trying to keep my balance as I unload down his throat. He won’t let go and he’s milking me for all I’m worth, sucking me down and pulling every bit out of me. I’m panting and tears are streaming down my face. “Bucky, oh, Bucky.” He slows slightly. I’m so sensitive, everything alive, and my nerves are humming. I’m lit up inside and completely spent. He stops and slips me out of his mouth before kissing the tip.

I rub his head with my fingers and pull him close to me. He rests the side of his face against my stomach and we breathe in the afterglow. “I can’t believe I’m here,” I whisper. “I can’t believe we’re here.”

I kneel down on the floor in front of him. He tips my head up and kisses me lightly on the lips. “Believe it.”

“I missed you so much, Buck.” Emotions explode inside my chest; my heart is finally beating as a whole again. I’m completely overwhelmed.

He looks down at me, his fingers sliding around my neck and shoulders. He smiles, his eyes full of love and care. “I missed you too, Stevie.”

I’m coming to my senses again but I want more. I kiss him again, pushing against him. Bucky returns my kiss, our tongues intertwine and I feel drunk. Not drunk from the wine, but from endorphins and sex and happiness. I slide my hands up his corded arms, he’s so hard and firm, a thick slab of man. I’m dizzy and sleepy but I can’t wait for more. I want to give him what he’s given me.

His mouth is delicious. I know from experience though, that he is delicious all over. My pulse pounds in my chest as I whisper in his ear, “My turn to taste you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, kudos, whatever, you know what to do people. :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their evening continues for a bit, followed by the next morning. Bucky decides to enlist Clint's help in taking care of his sister and gets some advice on his love life instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter but you get to see inside Bucky's head again. :)
> 
> PSSSSSTT! Bucky's head is full of STEVE!!! XD
> 
> Also, I decided to make Laura Barton into Clint's sister. Just works better that way. Enjoy!

_Bucky_

* * *

 

Steve sighs happily in my arms. “My turn to taste you.”

I kiss him again, savoring his mouth. “It’s okay. Tonight was for you. We have all the time in the world. I just want to hold you.”

He looks disappointed but he’s also spent. He won’t be awake long. We curl up together on the couch and he falls asleep in my arms. His weight is warm and heavy, his breathing even and slow. He seems content, finally fully relaxed.

It’s a first step. I want to see how he is when he wakes up, how he feels about everything. I loved being there for him, but am I ready to be vulnerable in the same way? This can’t just be about sex and he’s not a stranger. I’ve done one-night stands in the past, but not with Steve. Not with all of our feelings and shared history; he’s different.

All these years between us and then one days he’s back and curled up in my arms. I tip my head and bury my nose in his hair. He smells so good. Will this turn into a memory too? Will this moment become another punctuated dream, unrelated to my daily life?

I’m done with anything casual and I want the real thing. But is Steve ready? It chews me up that I don’t know. Maybe we’ll just have a few days while he stays with me, and then he’ll get scared and run away. Or maybe he’s ready for more just like I am.

My resolve tightens inside me. Either way, there can’t be any regrets after this. I’m going to take this as far as it goes for as long as I can manage. I hold him closer and he’s so solid, so strong and so much bigger than before. He’s so real. My Stevie grew up; he went from being the small, lanky, sickly kid I grew up with to being this amazingly handsome, built Adonis who’s finally started to come into his own.

For so many years of my life he was just a phantom, but now he’s here and he’s real. I lean my head against his and fall into a peaceful sleep.

A few hours later my alarm reminds me to take the puppy out.

Steve stirs. He needs some real sleep in a real bed so I rub his arm to half wake him. “Time to get in your bed.”

“No, I like it here with you. Don’t make the dream end.” He clings to me, not fully with it yet.

“I like it with you too but your back will be happier with some horizontal sleep.”

“Horizontal.” He pulls me closer. “We can do that.”

At least I know he’s up for more. “Okay, but right now let’s put you to bed.” I help him up but it’s clear that he’s still not awake. How does he do that? I walk him to his room and help him into bed, pulling the covers up to his neck. “Good night, Stevie.”

“Buck?” His voice is thick with sleep.

“Yeah?”

“It’s always been you.” He burrows into the bed. I feel like I’m taking advantage of him, just by listening to him right now.

“Is that so?”

No answer. He’s back in dreamland so I slip out and close the door behind me. Steve Rogers is sleeping in my house.

Trip and I do our middle-of-the-night routine. He’s figured it out like a champ. This dog thing is actually pretty cool. I take his crate to my room and we both sleep until morning.

* * * * *

I’m up before Steve. He’s running late again so I make him another mug of coffee.

He rushes out of his room, wearing some of his new clothes. His cheeks turn pink when he sees me, which makes me grin happily.

“Hi, I have to run. Work.” He’s rooted in the middle of the room, like he doesn’t know what to do next.

“I know. I have coffee for you.”

His face lights up in morning happiness. “Oh my God, Buck. How did I ever live without you?” As soon as the words come out of his mouth, he snaps it shut.

I can’t contain the smile twisting my lips up.

He takes the coffee before making for the front door. “Thanks. Bye!” He starts to leave and makes it halfway to the front door. I watch him go, but then he stops. He turns around, rushes back and throws himself into my arms. The moment his body presses into mine, our chemistry explodes between us. I melt into him like we were meant to fit together.

He whispers in my ear, “Last night was great.”

“Yes it was,” I rumble back. I pull him closer and feel myself start to harden against him.

“See you tonight?” He pulls back slightly.

“Plan on it.” I reach down and grab his tight ass with one hand.

He peels himself out of my arms. “I gotta go.” For a moment his hooded blue eyes are on mine and then he kisses me. One kiss, full of promises. Before I have a chance to react, he’s already gone and out the door.

I don’t know how long he’s staying here, but playing house is fun.

Since I have work to do, Trip and I spend the rest of the morning in the workshop. He likes his new gated area. Every few hours I take him out to his spot in the grass and then play with him after he does his business. It seems to me that having a puppy mostly requires organization – and lots of chew toys.

Later, Trip and I get in the truck and we go see my former squad mate, Clint. I want to enlist his help in getting Becca taken care of safely. His house is crazy big but then builders’ houses are always the best. I’d know since I did a lot of his woodworking.

Clint meets me at the door in a black and purple t-shirt, dark jeans, a bow and quiver strung across his back and some new-fangled gadget on his wrist. He always has some new piece of tech, either related to archery or whatever the ‘tech of the week’ happens to be.

Trip’s on a leash and I’ve let him walk himself to the front door. He still limps a bit but every day he’s a little better.

“A puppy!” Laura, Clint’s sister, comes up behind him. “Oh my gosh, he’s so cute!” Trip is wagging his tail so hard his entire hind end wags with it. She crouches down to pet him and he goes right to her and stick his head in her hands. “Lucky is going to love you! Can I take him? You can go talk to Clint.” She croons at the puppy. “You want to go play with Lucky, don’t you? What’s his name?”

“Trip.” I smile. “He was a stray who showed up to my Saturday morning breakfast and I nearly tripped over him after he stole my bacon right off my plate.”

Laura smiles fondly. “Aww, he was hungry, weren’t you, Trip?”

I hand her the leash and she leads him through the house to the backyard. It’s like I brought a new baby for how she’s cooing over him.

Clint motions for me to sit on the shady porch steps beside him. It’s a beautiful, mild day today.

“What’s that?” I point to the new gadget on Clint’s wrist. I know he’s dying to tell me about it.

“It’s an observer watch, but it’s the newest kind!”

“Observer watch?” It sounds creepy but I keep that part to myself.

“Yeah, it’s basically a watch, GPS, and FitBit all in one. Monitors everything you do – time spent sitting, time sleeping, it even tracks your state of mind so you can try to stay calmer. It also hooks into your wifi and talks to your computer, gives you graphs and data.”

“Isn’t that what you’d wear if you were under house arrest?” I’m calm enough. A dog is better for staying mellow and getting exercise.

He laughs. “No, it hooks up with the program to track your pulse, heart rate, blood pressure, steps, and calories burned.”

“Does it weird you out to have something like that on you all the time? How can that be good for you?”

He looks at the tattoo covering my left arm and raises an eyebrow. “I can ask you the same thing.”

“Haha! Screw you.” I laugh and rub my arm.

He cracks up just as Laura sticks her head out the door. “Come inside, there’s bugs out there.”

Clint laughs again and looks at me. “I swear, if she didn’t drop by every so often, I’d be living in a tree in my backyard with Lucky and hunting for food with my bow.”

He leads me inside to the den, which looks a lot like my house. Clint actually got some of the ideas for sections of his house from things I’d gotten for mine.

“So, what’s going on Sarge? You in trouble?”

“Not me. It’s my sister, Becca. Her husband is getting worse and I think it’s time to get her the hell out of there. I actually wanted to ask you for some backup.”

Clint works his jaw. “How bad is it?”

“He’s spending all of their money, including her catering funds. I think there’s more to it than that but she’s not saying.”

“Like what?”

“He’s probably cheating on her or doing drugs. It doesn’t matter, really. He’s rarely there but it’s unstable for her and my nephew. I’ve been trying to get her out for a while. She’s says she’s almost ready to go.”

“Ever since you introduced me to them, I never liked that guy. Always thought there was something shifty about him.”

“Same. I don’t know what will happen with him, but they can figure that out with her living somewhere else.”

“She going to stay with you?”

“Oh, I didn’t think about that. I have a house guest.”

“Anyone I know?” Clint smirks at me.

Here we go. “Steve.” I wait for my answer to settle in.

“Steve? Steve…Steve…Steve… Wait! _The_ Steve? The one who broke your heart and drove you to join the Army?”

“The same one.” It’s a bad memory, what happened between us at the end. “I ran into him, and then his apartment burned down. He needed a place to stay so…” I can’t control the smile spreading across my face.

“Oh shit, you have it bad for this guy!” Clint is laughing at me, but in a good way – like a good-natured chuckle.

“The heart wants what it wants.” I hold my hands out, like I cannot tell a lie.

“So what about him, what does he want?”

A cloud passes through me and my answer comes slowly. “I don’t know.” I know exactly how this must sound.

“Can I give you some advice?”

I frown. “You’re going to tell me this is foolish and a horrible idea.”

“Actually, no. When you ran into him again, was it like one thing just clicked into the next?”

“Yeah, it was. The next thing I know he’s living in my house.”

“Sometimes life just puts things in front of you. You have to see where it goes.”

“But what if…” I can’t bring myself to finish that sentence.

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

I nod, a lump forming in the bottom of my throat. “Yeah.”

“Then you’ll know. But right now, you don’t know.”

“It’s risky. Even as I’m knowingly doing it, I know it’s risky.”

“What’s the alternative?”

I don’t have an answer for that question so I stay silent.

“Love is always risky. Great risk, great reward.”

“Yeah.” I don’t like to contemplate the risk. The only thing I can think is ‘A chance with Steve is worth it.’

“You deserve this to be a good thing. You just have to take a chance and go for it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, kudos, blah blah blah. You know the deal. :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some feels, and then mostly smut. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer-than-usual delay in posting.
> 
> Minor technical difficulties in file sharing caused an unexpected delay. My apologies. :)

_Bucky_

* * *

 

Clint’s words roll around in my mind on the drive home. At least he didn’t tell me I was being stupid. He told me I have to take some risks for love, or I’ll never know what could happen.

I don’t want the biggest house in the city and I don’t need a trophy-grade spouse. My stomach clenches since that’s a pretty asshole thing to think, but my next thought takes me right to Steve. I’d never see him as a trophy, but he’s the hottest man alive as far as I’m concerned.

All I really want is a family. And of course, I want Steve in that family.

“You can be my family, right Trip?” It’s fun taking him everywhere I go. Everyone loves him and it helps that he’s always friendly and well behaved.

But I want more. I want Steve. Tonight, I’m going to take the risk. Tonight I will be vulnerable and take that chance. My stomach feels like it’s full of fireflies. I’m all lit up inside from the prospect of love, of being with my best friend and of possible lost love again. I’m nervous, jittery, and full of uncertainty and excitement.

I get home in time to make dinner and still get Trip out for another bathroom break. It’s better to cook for two, especially for Steve, than it is to do it just for me. When he arrives, he comes in the door with a flushed grin on his face.

“Welcome home!” I usher him in with a smile of my own. I’ve been waiting for this moment all day. He seems hesitant but last night was a big night for us. I put my arm around his shoulder and he tilts his head to meet mine. I float in that intense moment of anticipation right before the kiss, then pull him in and press my lips to his. He meets my kiss and opens his mouth, kissing me back, returning my affection. I pull him as close as I can and I can feel my pants getting tighter in the process.

I break the kiss and another grin spreads across my face. “I have food cooking.”

Steve still seems to be lost in the moment. “Mmm, I know what I want to eat.”

“After dinner, punk!”

“Fine, be that way, jerk!”

Dinner is nice. He tells me about the animals that came through the clinic today and which cases were the most interesting. He spares me the more gruesome details, but gives me just enough information to keep it interesting. I tell him about seeing Clint and his construction business, how it relates to mine, and more details about the business overall. It’s normal and pleasant but I know we are both thinking of what is to come. Anticipation is the best. I want to drag it out even longer, but it’s already been ten years and that’s long enough for both of us.

Steve helps me clean up and we restore the kitchen back to its former sparkling state. As he dries his hands, I hold mine out for his. I am nearly shaking with excitement. His body and mine have some kind of connection, like a circuit of energy. Ineed to be closer to him, I need to feel him and I need him to feel me.

Steve takes my hand and I lead him back to the living room couch. It’s soft, deep, and we can lie on it comfortably.

I sit Steve down and move his hips and upper thighs sideways, so he’s pulled into his back. I straddle, him, pinning him under me and this has him grinning up at me. His cheeks are flush and his eyes are impossibly bright. I hover over him, holding my weight above. I take his hand in mine and stretch them over his head making his eyes widen and his pupils dilate. His hips buck upwards against mine, rubbing his length against me. He’s smiling, that impossibly bright and beautiful smile he has. He’s absolutely gorgeous.

I bend forward and kiss him. I’m gentle at first but then I can’t stand it anymore. No more tenderness. This is pure need; man on man. I kiss him, crushing his mouth with mine, exploring him, forcing his lips open, tasting his mouth with my tongue. He matches my pace, giving as good as he’s getting. He may say that he’s repressed, but right now he’s pure sex. Whatever it was that was hiding inside of him has been unleashed.

I drop to a hover and slide my thick length against his, grinding our pants together. It feels so good, his hardness against mine. I slide up and down, his arms pinned above his head while I explore his mouth, his neck, his ears.

He’s fighting me, struggling. I check and he’s smiling, grinding, and pushing against me in all the right way. “I want you, Buck. I want to taste you. Let me, please.” He’s moaning and chanting. I can feel my dick leaking in my pants, my balls tight up against my body. I don’t want to cum in my pants but he may just drive me to.

I let go of his hands and slide my hands under his shirt. The muscles of his body are firm and tigh as I run the palms of my hands over his nipples and pinch. He gasps and I chuckle. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“I haven’t either.” His voice is hoarse and his hips are bucking. He grabs the hem of my shirt and tugs up. I grab my shirt and pull it off over my head, causing his eyes to widen as he takes in my naked torso. “Oh my gawd, Buck you’re so gorgeous. I couldn’t wait to see this again.”

I grin and bring my arms up to flex for him. I can’t help being a bit of a cocky bastard since it’s for him. Sometimes he brings out the preening teenager in me.

He laughs. “Let me up.” I know he’s strong enough now that he could push me off but he’s always so polite. I climb off him and he clambers out from under me and stands before me. Kneeling between my legs, he grabs my hips and drags me forward, palming me through my jeans, running pressure along my hard length. He blows hot breath on my cock through the fabric of my clothes. I throw my head back and moan; this is what I want.

He can’t get his hands into my waistband fast enough. He’s puling through the button flies, playing my jeans open. My boxers do nothing to contain my thick length but everything down there is tangled. He then pulls my jeans as far apart as he can and runs his palm down into my crotch. His fingers find my cock and squeeze. The only word I can think of is ‘yes!’

He pulls at my waistband and I lean my hips up so he can pull them down. My cock seems stuck in the fabric but he easily extricates me. I bob free, pointing straight up, rock hard, veiny and throbbing, pre-cum leaking from my tip. His eyes widen and he licks his lips. Leaving me momentarily wanting, he pulls my pants all the way off. He kneels between my legs, spreads me wide and drags me further down, exposing me to him. He crouches down and licks his tongue, large and flat, from my balls all the way up my shaft.

I’m groaning and trying to pump my hips even though he’s holding them down. My tip is aching for his mouth until, finally, he cradles me with one hand, stroking my underside with his fingers and then opens his mouth to me. It’s hot and wet and he drags the edge of my head along his tongue. ‘Finally,’ I think to myself. He can’t resist either, and sucks me in earnest, the heat and strength of it starting to pool inside me. Not yet, I don’t want to get off yet.

He opens his mouth wider and takes me in deeper until he takes me completely. I forgot how well he could do that. He’s bobbing his head up and down, my fingers tangled in hit thick, blonde hair. “Steve, fuck!” I feel the familiar pressure building further, my balls pulling even tighter against my body and then my thickness is swelling in this throat. I want to stop, to hold off cumming, but I don’t want him to stop. Steve is insistent and never relents. As everything inside me builds to the inevitable peak, I’m literally crying out to him. “Steve! Fuck! I’m… shit. Steve… I’m gonna…” I explode and Steve is relentless in his ministrations, milking me for every last bit. I’m cumming and cumming and cumming, like it just won’t end. This is has been a long time coming and my body is putting everything I have into it.

By the time I’m spent, he’s still keeping my cock in his mouth as it starts to go soft. He doesn’t want to give it up any more than I want him to let go of it. Finally, he slides off of it and grins up at me with a triumphant smile. “I’ve missed you, Buck.”

As my mind clears, I know that I want his cock; I want to taste it. I’ve missed it and I’ve never forgotten what it feels like in my mouth but I already want it again. I’m growling as I pull him to standing, bringing my hands around his hips and gripping his ass. I can’t wait to touch and taste all of him as he’s moaning and thrusting towards me.

My face is on his crotch and I trace his bulge with my cheek, biting softly through his jeans. He tries to open his pants and I swat his hands away. “My job.”

He grips my head, running his fingers though my straight brown hair and tangling his fingers in the top. “Buck, Buck, Buck, Buck, Buck…” he pants. I take my time for as long as I can, sliding my hands up and down his abs and dipping them into the waistline of his pants. After a few moments of that, I can’t stand it any longer and I open up my prize.

I reach in and pull his cock out with one hand while I pull his pants down with the other. He shifts his weight, trying to get them off as fast as he can. I consider hamstringing his by leaving them around his ankles but decide it’s better with everything out. His cock is hard, thick, long, and absolutely perfect. If there is such a thing as the perfect cock, then Steve has it. His balls are full and round, making his package even bigger. My mouth is watering and I want him completely bare to me.

I grip him by the root and suck him in, hard. He gasps and throws his head back while letting out a pleased moan. As I suck he starts pumping my face. Once you get Steve going, he’s relentless in the sack. For how reserved he is in all other things, he’s exactly the opposite in bed. It’s like he’s completely unchained and I love it. I’ve missed every moment of this.

I open my throat and keep pressure with suction and my tongue and he fucks me, using my face and moving steadily in and out. He groans and moans and I move my hands back around his ass and slide my fingers up and down his rear. This ramps him up even more as I get close and closer and finally my fingers find my prize. His tight hole is as sensitive as it ever was and I use it to play him. His balls clench up and his dick swell in response as I push a finger inside of him. His rhythm changes but I keep him on track, forcing him to ride the pleasure and not hold back from it. He can’t hold off his orgasm because I want it from him  _ now _ .

He’s crying out, moaning, rutting into my face and I’m pulling him in for more. His cock jumps and throbs and fires his manly nectar down my throat. I swallow it all down and pump him for more. I won’t let him go even when I know he’s overly sensitive because I want every last drop.

Finally, I release him once he’s going soft, gently sucking and licking as I do. I can tell how sensitive he is from his moaning and I hold him tight with my hands, caring for him and nurturing him. He sighs, stroking his fingers through my hair, running them up and down the sides of my face, ears and neck. “Buck, Buck, god Buck…” he whispers, an echo of earlier, Finally I’m satisfied enough to let him go and I stand up in front of him. A second later I pull him into my arms and kiss him, tenderly.

After that slow, caressing kiss I take him by the hand and lead him toward my bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think. :)
> 
> Questions, comments, kudos, whatevs. :P


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky grow feels, there are hand jobs, Steve's kids are cute as fuark, and Sharon is totally on 'Team Steve & Bucky.'

_Steve_

 

My knees are shaking, I’m so overcome with emotion. It’s like I’m inside the most real reality I’ve ever been in and the last ten years were nothing more than a dream. I’m back where I belong. I’m with Bucky.

He leads me to his bedroom where he has me climb into his bed before getting in behind me. He pulls me close to him, wrapping his muscled tattoo-covered arm around me and causing the heat of his body to melt into my own. I can’t help but snuggle closer to him as he pulls me in. He kisses my neck but neither of us says anything. We don’t need words right now because it’s just us. We’re exactly how we should have always been:  together. I don’t know how long we stay like that, but we eventually drift off to sleep.

In the middle of the night he’s up with Trip, being as quiet as he can. He’s a good doggie dad just like I knew he would be. Bucky is steady, organized, and everything he does is well thought-out. I nestle down in the covers and breathe in all the smells of him. Once he comes back into bed, his weight on the mattress pulls me toward him, causing me to fall into his gravity. He wraps his arm around me again and pulls me close. I forgot what a cuddler he is and I love every moment of it.

“Welcome back,” I whisper. “I missed you.”

His warm exhale moves over my shoulder as he nuzzles into my neck. “I missed you too, Stevie.”

And I know exactly what he means.

 

* * * * *

 

The next morning Bucky’s thick rod is pressing into my back, waking me from my dreamless bliss. I’m in a similar state of arousal, completely hard and wanting more. I can’t believe I’m in Bucky’s bed, like _really_ his bed. I turn around, half expecting to wake up from some walking dream but he’s here. He’s really here, naked and beautiful, the most handsome man I know. _My Bucky_. My heart leaps in my chest as I know this is all real.

“Come here.” His voice rumbles in my ear, sending a jolt of electricity through me. He easily turns me around, closer to him, so that we’re now face-to-face and hip-to-hip. Our bodies fit together and it feels like the memory of his form against mine is imprinted on my soul. We’re different people now, but in all the ways that matter we’re still the same. I’m home.

“I want to talk about last night.” He tips my chin up with his fingers and his storm-blue eyes look straight into mine.

I’m not sure what to say right now so I nod slightly and wait.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I want to give this a real try.” His gaze bores into me and I can tell that he’s seeking the truth, seeking confirmation.

My heart is pounding in my ears. I know what he means and as his words sink in I start to lose myself in the intense depths of his eyes. “I want that too.”

“We aren’t teenagers anymore. This isn’t an experiment.” He uses his thick arms to muscle me even closer to him.

It’s hard to think clearly this way, pressed up against the man that owns half of my heart, but on the other hand everything feels the most clear. This isn’t the worst time to have this conversation; it’s the best time to have it. “I know. I don’t know what is going to happen either. All I know is, when we’re together, I know where I belong.”

“That’s because you belong with me, Stevie.” Bucky is practically growling and his grip becomes just the slightest bit tighter.

I tip my head back from his, feeling our cocks trapped against each other. I inhale sharply from the sensation of him wrapped around me. “This is what I’ve been missing all these years. When we’re together, everything just makes sense.”

“This isn’t just a game to me.” Bucky brings my chin back down so he can look me in the eyes again. His eyebrows are raised while he waits for my reply.

Emotions are boiling over inside me. I’m vulnerable, laying my heart and soul open for him, and I can barely speak in a whisper when I do. “It’s always been you, Buck. I’ve never stopped thinking about you, ever.”

He strokes my face with his calloused hand. His hands are so strong, so tough, and so firm, but his touch is the most gentle I have ever felt. “It’s the same for me. We have that to build on. We can figure everything else out as we go.”

I just nod in reply, unable to speak. I have a chance at love, a _real_ chance.

He quietly spits in his hand before reaching down between us and gripping both our cocks in one of his large palms. Holy shit! The sensation is...overwhelming. His hand is sure, rough, and expert. He holds me against him and gently strokes us up and down together. My eyes roll into the back of my head and sparks fly inside me, growing and swirling. His other hand is between us as well, holding our balls together, weighing them, tumbling them against each other. He knows exactly what I like and he plays me like an instrument. I hold onto his shoulder for support, moaning and opening my legs wider. I can’t help but rock my hips forward and then he’s rocking with me. He stops to get more spit on his hand, giving me a much needed break; this is so hot I’m not sure how long I can last.

“Buck, I can’t last long like this.” I try not to feel embarrassed. I want him to enjoy this for as long as possible.

He grins at me and looks absolutely happy with my confession. “I know, me neither.”

Oh, well that changes things.

He reaches down again and holds our cocks together, stroking them in a perfect rhythm, every beat taking me higher in pleasure. I tip my head up, bring our lips together, and kiss him.

That does it. As soon as our lips touch, our bodies create some kind of circuit and the energy sparks between us again. His mouth presses back into mine, seeking more and pushing for it. I open for him and our tongues dance together, sliding and pushing the sensations even further.

Everything between us goes around and around. I’m trying to fight the tension building in my core, doing everything I can to hold it off. I try to relax but my body is franic. The growing tidal wave of pleasure is carrying me higher and higher. “Bucky! Buck!” I’m gasping as I kiss him, his fist pumping us together. The feeling of his strong hand and cock against mine relentlessly pushes me on. “I’m...gonna…!”

“Do it.” He growls. he takes my mouth with his, his tongue pushing against mine again. I’m seeing stars, all thought stops, and it’s just love and lust and need. He won’t stop. He’s approaching his own climax and I feel his cock swell and throb with mine, his balls tightening upward.

My whole body tenses against his and then everything is gone, leaving behind nothing but white hot fire and an apex of pleasure. I cry out and Bucky joins me. Our moans uninhibited, we’re free to love each other and express what we feel with the door open. I spill onto our stomachs, all over his hand, and he does the same. We’re together, and we’re everything we need right now.

Finally, the sensations subside and I can breathe.

Bucky pulls me in and kisses me softly on the edge of my mouth. “You are fucking hot when you cum, Stevie.”

 

* * * * *

 

Bucky sent me out the door with an egg on toast for breakfast -- perfect to eat in the car on my way to work. I’m giddy from last night and this morning and it must show because Natasha comments on it as soon as she sees me.

“What’s going on with you, Rogers? You seem pretty happy for a guy whose apartment just burned down. Are you okay? Do you need a place to stay?”

“No, Nat. Remember? I told you I’m staying with a friend.”

“A friend, huh?” She looks at me skeptically. “Anyone I know? Anyone with a red Labrador Retriever?” She pulls a dog hair off my shirt and gives me a pointed look.

“Maybe.”

“Are you going to tell me about it?” She leans on the counter, carefully assessing me as I answer.

“There’s nothing to tell, Nat.”

“But there will be?”

“Maybe.” My face twists into a goofy grin. Yeah, I’ve been had.

“Ah ha! Knew it!”

 

* * * * *

 

“Daddy, daddy!  Look what I made!”  Wanda runs to the car, holding up a long dangly rainbow colored _thingy_.  I tilt my head, trying to discern what it is.

“And look what I made!”  Pietro is right behind her and he has one too – slightly different – but equally as indiscernible.

“Wow, those are super cool.  What are they?”  Their projects literally look like every art supply in the school craft closet has vomited itself onto a piece of paper.

My frowny-faced kids scowl at me as they climb into the car.

“Get buckled in,” I sing-song, even though they know the drill.

Wanda gives me a ‘ _really_?’ look in the rear-view mirror and shakes her project emphatically.  “Daa-ddy. They’re jellyfish!”

“Oh, of course they are!  I love them.”  Looking closer, I guess they could be jellyfish.  Well, jellyfish that Picasso would be proud of anyway.

Wanda takes the opportunity to wheedle me.  “Can we go to your house?”

“We can’t today. I’m coming to mommy’s house instead.”  I raise my eyebrows at them in the mirror.  We’re stuck in the school’s pick up line until someone moves forward to let us out.

“Okay,”  Wanda says.  “I can show you my cardboard box machine.”

“And I can show you my Webkinz,” Pietro adds in.  He’s become an animal lover just like me.

I’ve seen both of these things many time before, but I never get tired of seeing what my kids create, having them show me what they love doing.  I have to make sure to stay on task today though.  “Yep, and do homework, right?”

“I don’t like homework,” Pietro declares.

“I do!” Wanda replies.

“You’re dumb.”  Pietro doesn’t like to be contradicted by his (younger) twin sister.

“No, I’m not.”  Fortunately Wanda can hold her own with her brother.

I know they’re both trying to get my attention and it’s at least a bit cute.  “No name calling.  We’ll get homework done _and_ have fun, okay?”

Pietro perks up with an idea.  “After homework, can we play Minecraft?”

“Yeah!  We have to show you all the new things we built on our farm!” Wanda chimes in.

“Perfect idea.  After we walk the dogs, let’s play Minecraft.  You have to help me though.  You guys are the experts, not me.”

“That’s okay, Daddy.  You can plant crops for us.”  Wanda is ready to put me to work right away.

“Can you really plant crops for us?”  Pietro seems to be on board with this idea.

“Yep.  Just show me what to do and I’ll work on your farm.”  I chuckle to myself; I’m free labor for them.

“Yay!  Mommy doesn’t play Minecraft with us,”  Wanda tattles.

I can’t help but laugh again.  “I know, she save that as a special thing for us to do together.  Isn’t she nice?”

“I guess.”  Wanda sounds disappointed that this didn’t get more of a rise out of me.  Kids!

 

* * * * *

 

After spelling practice and math worksheets, each of the twins take a leash and we walk Scarlet and Silver, our faithful dogs.  They are getting older, so the twins can handle them on the leash, with adult supervision.  They each have one they love best and for their own reasons.  Wanda loves Scarlet, our reddish-brown Fox Hound, and Pietro loves silver, our solid white German Shepherd.  It works well for everyone.

Sharon wasn’t home when we got in; she uses Wednesday afternoons to run errands or do who knows what.  I’m sure she needs the break.  She works in her dad’s coffee shop a lot, so she needs the time when I take the twins off her hands to get stuff done.

After homework, dog care, Minecraft, and dinner, it’s bedtime.  I tuck the twins into bed while Scarlet and Silver curl up at their feet.  I miss my dogs, but my kids need them more than I do and I’m glad they have them.

When I finally leave their bedroom, Sharon is sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of wine.  “I made you some tea.”

“Thanks.  Your’re not sharing your wine?”  I slide into my seat and fiddle with the string on the bag.

“You’re leaving in a minute.  And even though I hold an insurance policy on you, I’d rather the kids have a living father with a current driver’s license.”

“Plus sharing wine…that’s a big deal.”  Sharon is really picky about what she drinks and she doesn’t like to share unless you are an equal connoisseur.  Sometimes I qualify and sometimes I don’t.

She ignores my comment.  “I heard about your apartment, what are you going to do?”

I shrug.  “I don’t know.  The only thing I had there that mattered was the twins’ toys.”

“Oh, how awful.  I’m sorry, Steve.  Do they know?”

“No, I haven’t had the heart to tell them and it’s pointless right now.  How’s the shop?”  Just like me, she’s gearing up to take over the family business when her dad retires, but unlike me, her transfer of ownership will be relatively drama-free.

“Good.  Dad wants to expand the food selection.”  She sighs into her glass.

“That’s a good idea.  You’re in the perfect location for it.”

“Trust, it’s just overwhelming.  I’ll be more excited about it in the morning after I’ve slept.”

I swirl the bag in my tea.  I get to go home to Bucky tonight.  A jolt runs up my spine as I remember this morning, and last night.

“You seem pretty happy for a guy whose apartment just burned down.”  She’s now the second person to say that today.

I try to control my face, but I can’t do anything to stop my smile.  Dammit.

“What’s going on?” she asks, focusing her full attention on me.

“I’m staying with James.”  There’s a beat while that sinks in.

“James?  You mean JAMES, James?   _Bucky_ , James?”  She knows Bucky.  We all went to school together.  She was my other best friend after we broke up; after _I_ hurt _him_.  I never told her any of the gory details, but she eventually figured out that we were more than just friends.

“Yeah, he came into the clinic with a puppy he’d found.  I’m staying with him until I figure out what I’m doing.”

She raises an eyebrow at me.  “What _are_ you doing then?”

I lift my hands helplessly, signaling my surrender.  “I have no idea what I’m doing.”  Story of my life.

“Are you staying with him or are you _staying_ with him?”  She widens her eyes and raises both eyebrows.  She can read me like a book and I feel her peering into me.  I say nothing but force myself to meet her studious gaze.  “Oh my gawd, you’re back together?  This is huge!”

“Maybe.”

“ _Maybe_?!  What the hell does that mean?  Stop talking in circles and spit it out.”

“I’m sure I’ll screw it up.  I mean, I always screw up relationships, right?”  It’s hard for her to argue with that one.

“You need to stop worrying what your dad thinks.”

“How do you propose I do that?”

“I don’t know, but doing what he wants hasn’t done you any favors.”

“I got the twins.”  I know this is a low blow, and it’s not fair for me to say to her.

“Yes, but you know, there was also a lot of heartache.”  I can see her clench her teeth.

“You’re right.”  Now I feel like an asshole.

She waves her hand.  “Whatever.  It’s water under the bridge.  I know you’ve been holding a torch for him since forever.  Now you’re living with him.  Is your story of lost love going to get a happy ending this time?”

I realize I’m holding my breath and it all comes out at once.  “I want it to but how can it?”

She glares daggers at me.  “It can if you decide it can.”

“How is it that my ex-wife is giving me relationship advice?”

“Because we were always friends.  And I have a motive here.”

“You want me to be with Bucky?”

“I want you to be true to yourself.  You not being your true self is what prevented us from having a real marriage.  It’s frustrating, and I want to see the real you.”  She puts her head in her hands.  “Plus, it will validate my suffering.”

I put my hand on her shoulder.  “I’m so sorry, Sharon.”

She crosses her arms and puts her hand on top of mine.  “Prove it.  Stop pretending to be someone you’re not.”

I sit, staring into my tea.  Can I?  Can this work?

“You’re a grown man.  You can do whatever you want.  People who don’t like it can adjust or screw off.”

“Maybe my dad has evolved.”

“There you go.  I support you.  You can do this.”

“Thanks, Sharon.”  I kiss her on the top of her head on my way out, and go home to Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while but here, have an update and let me know what you think. :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets a read on Steve's hang-ups, there's some sexy time, Darcy + Trip + dog toys +more of Steve hang-ups, our boys have a day out, and Sharon and the twins crash the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter following close on the heels of the last. Fingers and keyboard were just in sync like that. :P

_Bucky_

 

_* * * * *_

 

Steve bursts into the house.  “I talked to Sharon!”

“Okay…what does that mean?”  Trip and I are cuddled up on the couch watching some random show on Netflix.  I pause my Xbox to listen to Steve.

“I told her I was staying with you.  She’s all in favor of it.”

He needs permission to stay with me?  That can’t be what he’s trying to get at.  He needs to be more specific so I just wait for him as he’s pacing around, back and forth.

“All in favor of what?”  Trip’s watching him go back and forth and he’s confused too, his ears perked up and head tilted to the side.  “Maybe you should sit down?”  Steve takes my advice and perches on the couch next to me.

“Just that, I should be myself, my true self.”

“That’s always good advice.”  I really don’t want to hear about how he isn’t currently living as his true self.  It just makes me feel like crap.

He puts his hand on my knee as he continues.  “I’m tired of pretending I’m something that I’m not.”

“Does anyone really think you’re anything that you’re not?”

He frowns.  “My dad.  He still…”

That knot in my stomach I’ve been ignoring flares through me.  His dad.   _Still_.

“Does he really though?”  He says nothing.  “So what does this mean?  What are you going to do?”

He rubs his forehead.  “I don’t know.  But whatever it is, I’m going to start.  I really think I can do this.”

My body suddenly feels tired all over.  I thought we got through this just this morning.  “You know you broke my heart, right?”  I can barely say it.  Trip looks up at me and then licks my hand.  I pet his soft little head.  It’s amazing how soothing petting a puppy can be.

Steve puts his head in his hands.  “I know.  I’m sorry, Buck.”

At least he has the decency to not tell me how it hurt him too.  “That was the past, this is now.  You said you have tomorrow off work, right?”

He looks up at me, curiosity sparkling in his eyes.  “Yeah?”

“I want to get more toys for Trip; he’s a chewing machine.  How about you come with me and then we hang out at the beach?”

The gears are turning in his head and I swear I know what he’s thinking.  I don’t want to think about it, but I feel like I know.  He’s thinking about us going out, in public, _together_.

“Come out with me tomorrow.”  I put my hand on his and give it a squeeze.  “We’ll bring the dog, the world won’t end, and we’ll have fun!”

He swallows and chews the inside of his mouth.  “Why not.  I’m twenty-fucking-nine years old and it’s the twenty first century.  This is ridiculous.”

“Damn straight!  We’ll go crazy!  Dog toys and chillin’ on the beach.  It’s a wild life!”  I’m laughing, teasing us both.

“Sounds perfect to me.”  He laces his fingers in mine.  “You, me and Trip.”

My heart warms at this; I definitely like the thought of that.  “I wonder if there are any bacon themed chew toys.  I didn’t even think to look for any last time.”

“You were too distracted by my charm and expertise.”  He squeezes my hand and gives me a full 10 megawatt Steve Rogers smile.  It’s like someone turns an extra light on in the room when he does that.

I run my hand up his arm.  “You know you’re gorgeous, right?”

His eyes darken and his breathing quickens.  A bright red flush colors his cheeks and rises all the way up to the tips of his ears at the compliment.  “Tell me more.”

“How about I show you?”  I pull him close to me and press my lips to his.  He’s gasping, clinging to me, pulling me closer.

“I’ve been thinking about this all day.”  He’s panting, pulling at my shirt.

“Me too, Stevie.  Let’s take this to the bed.”  I pick up the now-sleeping puppy into my arms and carry him to the crate in my room.  He’s out like a light, and from experience he won’t be up for a good four hours.  Perfect.

Steve patiently waits for me to put Trip away.  “You’re a good puppy daddy.”  His clear blue eyes shine at me.

“Daddy, huh?”  I smack him on the ass and he gasps while laughing.

“Hmm, I think I like that.”  He’s pulling on my clothes, slipping his hands under my shirt with half-lidded eyes.

“Good to know.  Now strip.”  I step away and sit on the bed, like I’m expecting him to give me a show.  He takes the cue and stands in front of me.  He unbuttons the top of his polo shirt and slowly removes it.  There’s just enough light in here for me to see the planes of his body.  I’m swelling looking at him and I want to taste him all over.  “More.”  He bites his lip and slides out of his pants.  I love that moment when they drop off his hips and he stands back up.  He’s fully hard, a little nudge and he’d be poking out of his boxers.

“You like?”  He wiggles his hips at me and it reminds me of that first night in the hot tub, him pointing his cock at me.

“You know I do.  C’mere.”

He comes to me and I wrap my hands around him, gripping his muscular ass tight in my hands.  I reach under and stroke him, feeling him tighten and swell as his breath hitches when he inhales.  In one movement I yank his boxers down.  “Off.”  I nod at where they are sitting around his calves.

He steps out of them and kicks them away.  “Yes, sir.” He’s smirking at me.

My hand wraps around his ass again, holding him close to me.  I grip the base of his cock, eliciting a pleased moan from him.

I lean down and take him into my mouth.  He tastes so good; he’s sweet and salty and all masculine musk.  His cock is smooth and firm and so full.  I want it all, I want the whole thing.  I open my throat and take him all the way in.  My tongue snakes out and lick under the base, his cock all the way down my throat.  He’s moaning, “Oh, Buck!  Buck!  Oh my gawd, Buck!”  He doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands so I pull him tighter to me, hard.  He takes the cue and caresses my head all over.  It feels so good, him stroking my head, my ears, down my neck.  I feel him swelling in my mouth as the pleasure builds inside him.  “Buck, stop, I’m gonna…”  And then he does, hot and thick, straight down my throat.  I swallow it all down and I could eat him forever.. I want every part of him and I will never be able to get enough.

He’s panting, his hands still running over my head as his body is going limp, his balance leaving him.  “I… Buck. Oh, shit.”

I finally slide my mouth off him and pull him tight to me.  “You’re mine.”  He gasps and throws his head back.  I knead the back of his thick thighs with my strong hands and he groans under my touch.

“Gawd, Buck.  You feel so good.”

“Whose are you?” I growl.  My cock is so hard it feels like it’s going to blow all by itself.  I run my hands over his ass, squeezing the thick muscle there.

“Yours.”  He’s moaning.  I can barely hear him.

I give his ass another hard squeeze, holding him close to me.  “Whose?”

“I’m yours, Buck.  I’m yours.  I’m all yours.  I’ve always been yours.  It’s always been you.”

I pull him down on top of me on the bed, roughly.  He’s drunk from pleasure and sensation.  I grip him by the back of his head, my fingers threading through his thick blonde hair, and pull his forehead down to mine.  He’s panting and I’m growling, possessive.  “Fucking right.  And it always will be.”

 

* * * * *

 

“Can my dog try out the toys before I buy them?”  The same brown-haired girl who helped me last time, Darcy, is crooning over Trip.  I’d say she was acting like she’s never seen a dog before, but no dog is superior to mine, so I understand.

“Trip can try anything he wants, can’t you Trip?”  He’s licking her face and wagging his tail so hard his butt is wiggling.

“Don’t let him lick people’s faces.  You want to teach him how you’ll want him to behave when he’s fully grown and not as cute anymore.”  Steve doesn’t even look up, he’s reading tags on all the dog toys.

“That’s why you’re here, to help me do that.”  We haven’t done a lot of dog training since we’ve been busy doing _other_ things.  Not that I’m complaining, because I’m not.

“Is that all?”  He quirks an eyebrow at me.  “You’re just using me for dog training?”

“Well…that and sex.”  I smirk at him.  He turns bright red and shoots an eye at Darcy.  She’s pretending she can’t hear us, but she’s smiling.

“Can I take Trip up front and give him a treat?”  She’s cuddling him like he’s the greatest thing in the world.  Which he is, aside from Steve.

“Absolutely!  Trip is a ladies’ man.  Don’t let him sweet talk you too much.”  She laughs at my comment and heads toward the front of the store.

“I can’t believe you said that!”  Steve hisses at me.  He looks mortified.

“Oh come on, nobody cares.  It’s funny.”

He rubs his face.  “This is crazy.”

I step closer to him and put my hands on his shoulders so I hold him face-to-face.  “That’s the thing.  It isn’t crazy.  This is normal.  What we are is normal.”

He swallows.  “Okay, you’re right.  This is just scary to me.  Sorry, Buck.”

My heart pains.  “I know, Steve.  It was scary to me too at first.  I guess I was trying to make it easier by joking around.  Come here.”  I hold my arms out to him.

He hesitates and looks around.

“Come here.”  He steps to me and I put my arms around his shoulders.  “You can do this.  I’m with you.  Trip is with you.  Plus, if you chicken out you will crush my heart.”  I act like I’m joking, but we both know that I’m not.

He laughs slightly.  It’s true, but it’s also a little bit funny.

Darcy comes back and pops her head around the end of the aisle.  “Hey you guys, look.  I overheard you say you wanted a bacon chew toy.  I found one under the counter.  You want it?”

“Yes!  I’ll take all this too.”  I lift up my basket full of assorted chew toys and dog play things.  Spoiling this dog is more fun than I thought it would be.

I nudge Steve with my shoulder.  “See. Everything’s just as it should be.  It will be okay.  Let’s buy this stuff and then go to the beach.”

 

* * * * *

 

The beach is beautiful and not many people are here, which is great as we look for a good spot to land.  I point this out to Steve.  “That’s because it’s still early, mister morning person.”  Trip, excited to be here, wants to smell and pee on everything.  I bought shoes for him at the pet store so I can protect his bandage from the sand.

“The early bird catches the worm.”  I affect a stiff tone like I’m a school teacher.  I’m joking but…it’s also true.  I’ve always been the early riser.  That’s when people get shit done.

“Don’t you mean the early worm gets eaten by the bird?”  Steve’s laughing at me.

“You’re just thinking of excuses not to wake up early in the morning.”

“If I’m in bed with you, why would I want to?”  He elbows me as we walk down the boardwalk.  I love our easy companionship because it’s just that:  easy.  If we can just get him past his hang-ups and worries.  I know how he feels, you think the whole world is going to implode but in reality, no one actually cares.  They just want you to be happy in the end.

“How about here?”  I pick a spot that has a great view of everything.  I can see ahead of me, behind me, who’s coming and going.  It’s shady right now so it won’t get too hot  I love to just lie in the sun and bake but Steve’s fair skin is more likely to burn than mine.

Steve spreads the blanket and I stow our food in the corner.  He plops down onto the blanket, face first, and lies on his arms.  “This is how every morning should be.  At the beach, on a blanket, listening to the ocean.”  Trip climbs next to his face, sniffing and licking him.  He laughs and pulls the dog away from his face.

I lie down next to him, welcoming Trip’s attention back to me.  “If this were every day then it wouldn’t be a treat.”

I did get him up early this morning, because I was ready to spend the day together and wanted to get a head start.  I have to remember that he’s not a morning person.  I can live with that, in him.  Someone else, probably not.  But with Steve, it’s just details.

“How early can we break out the beer?” Steve wants to know.

“Now you’re talking.  How about one?  That’s probably respectable.”

“Screw respectable.”

“Really?  You want to start in on the beer now?”

“No, just kidding.  I’ll be sad later if we drink it all now.”

“You can take a nap.  I know I kept you up late last night.”  My face is buried in my arms, but I can’t contain my smile.

“From this angle, all I can see is your dimple, which tells me you’re grinning like you just stole the teacher’s keys.”  Steve leans over me and I can feel his warmth.

I laugh at his comment.  “They never proved I did that.”

Steve just laughs and shakes his head.

 

* * * * *

 

Steve snoozes while I play with Trip.  How did I ever _not_ have a puppy?  He makes everything better.  He lives in the moment, takes everything at face value, and gives his love freely.  I kick off my shoes and feel the cool sand between my toes, the breeze lightly blowing by.  Birds cry over the ocean and everything has that salty seaweed smell.  Life is good.

When Steve wakes up we break out our lunch and a couple bottles of beer.  I hold up my bottle for a toast.  “To drinking outside, one of the greatest pleasures you can have in public!”

“Hear, hear!”  Steve clinks my bottle and we drink.  He rubs his feet on mine and we sit, companionably, enjoying the beautiful day.  It’s nice to just be.

“Daddy!  Daddy!”  Two little voices break through the background of beach sounds.  I look up and two rambunctious kids are hurtling toward Steve.  He sits up, steadying his beer bottle.

“Here, hold this for me.”  He hands me his drink, holds out his arms and they crash into him.  A woman with long blonde hair is holding a pair of sandals and shading her eyes as she walks toward us.

The two kids are squealing and talking over each other.  “Daddy, why are you here?  Did you know we were going to be here?  Can we go get seashells?  Can we get in the water?  Can we have ice cream?”  He laughs and ignores their request, his eyes on the woman walking our way.

I lean back, watching all of this unfold.  “Steve.”  She stands in front of us, her hand on one hip.

“Is today hooky day for everyone?”  I decide not to sit back from this conversation.

She looks at me.  “James!  I hear you’re putting up my homeless ex-husband.”  She gives my foot a slight kick with hers.

“Something like that.”  She has long, slightly wavy blonde hair, wide cheekbones and soft features.  Steve’s kids are going to be stunners with their combined DNA.

The kids immediately spot Trip in my lap.  “Daddy, is this your dog?  Did you get a dog?”

He laughs.  “This is Trip.  He  belongs to my friend, Bucky.”

Their eyes widen as they look at my ink and size.  “Are there drawings all over you?” the girl asks.

“Wanda!  Manners.”  Sharon looks at me apologetically.

I laugh at their daughter’s antics.  “It’s okay.  Just my arm has drawings on it.”

Her eyes get wider.  “Does it hurt to put them on?”

“A little, but it’s okay for grown ups.”  I hope that’s a good answer.  Sharon looks like she can’t decide if it is or isn’t.

“Okay.”  Wanda seems satisfied with my explanation.  She drops to her knees and joins her brother in playing with Trip.

“Daddy, can we get a dog like Trip too?”  Pietro’s voice is quieter.  He seems a bit more careful than his sister but it could just be his mood today.  I always hated how my parents tried to put me and my sisters in boxes.

Steve just laughs.  “I think your mom has her hands full as it is.”

Sharon mouths ‘thank you’ at him.  Steve is smiling from ear to ear.

“So you guys are out in public?”  Sharon gives Steve a very pointed look.

“It would seem so.”  Steve looks around as if he might see someone else he knows.  I have to let him get used to things but it’s hard after all these years of waiting.  Not to mention how hard it is after I went through this years ago.

I watch the twins playing with the dog and the beautiful woman standing in front of us.  While I was in the Army and grappling with these issues, Steve was doing this.  He’s lucky his ex-wife is still his friend and he’s lucky to have not just one, but two kids.

“Do you want to join us?”  I shuffle over on the blanket and make a spot for her.

“I should probably get going.”  She looks longingly at the red bundle of fur occupying her kids.

“Oh come on, just for a moment.  We have beer.  Join us, relax, we’ll help you watch the kids.  Make your day off complete.”

“You’re a smooth talker.  And I hate turning down free drinks.”  She sits down with us and pulls Trip up onto her lap.  “Hey there little guy, aren’t you the cutest thing?”  She pets his busy little red head and ruffles his floppy ears.  “If I didn’t have two dogs already then this one would give me puppy fever.”

“I have puppy fever!”  Wanda says.  She’s eating grapes out of a bag from Steve’s lunch.

“Me too.”  Pietro shyly smiles at us.  Wanda is more outgoing today but Pietro seems more like me when I was his age.

“So you escaped the coffee shop today?”  Steve asks Sharon.

“Yeah, I traded a lot of shifts.  I wanted to take the twins out before school got out and everything was too crowded on weekends.”

“You work at a coffee shop?”  Gears start turning in my mind.

“Yeah. My dad owns it.  It’s pretty cool, though right now things are kind of crazy.  He wants to expand the menu and do all this new food.”

“Have you found anyone to run that part of it?”

“I haven’t yet.  I’m just barely keeping my head above water as it is.  Hopefully we can find someone soon.”

The gears continue to turn in my head.  “I may just know a person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to let me know how I'm doing. Positive and negative feedback welcome. :)


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